Overcoming the loss of her beloved daughter and the karma of sickness
Fostering future leaders of Soka. Walking a lifelong path of mission
Ke Min Ling
Taiwan
I took up faith in 1998. As I was the only one practicing Daishonin Buddhism in the family, it was extremely challenging for me to attend Gakkai meetings with no one to support. However, this little setback did not deter me from persevering in my faith and practice. I had absolute faith in the Mystic Law and my children would follow me each time I went for Gakkai activities.
During 2004, my elder daughter met with a fatal car accident. I was totally devastated and cried almost every day. Though deeply shattered, I believed she must have had a mission for this premature suffering. The funeral undertaker became my Buddhist God (Shoten Zenjin) by helping to convince my non-practicing family to hold a Soka Funeral Service for my daughter. The entire funeral was held in a grand and solemn manner and my family and relatives were filled with gratitude towards the Soka members for rendering their help. Through my daughter’s passing, my family was able to have a better understanding of this Buddhism.
After the funeral ended, I still could not come to term with the loss of my precious daughter. I was in so much despair that I could not even bring myself to leave the house almost every day. I dreaded daylight so much that I suddenly had phobia of bright lights. Things got so bad that I could not even go to work and had to give up my job in the end. I came to a shocking realization that I might have fallen into serious depression just like my mother. My mother suffered depression after the passing of my father and had to undergo psychiatrist’s treatment in a mental asylum. “Do I want to suffer like my mother?” It was a good wakeup call and I told myself that I must not carry on in this way. I must definitely overcome this karma and turn poison into medicine.
I set a personal goal of chanting 3 hours of daimoku a day. I told myself that I must definitely recover and use this actual proof as a testimony to this great Mystic Law. I was thankful that I was able to walk out of depression through the power of daimoku coupled with the support and encouragement given by my district comrades. With this gratitude deeply etched in my heart, I vowed to work even harder for Kosen-rufu on behalf of my daughter.
To repay my debt of gratitude to Soka, I prayed fervently that I must be actively involved in the Community Friendship Cultural Festival held in 2007. True to my prayers, my leader contacted me to ask if I would be willing participate in the programme in charge by the Taho(Many Treasures) Group. I said, “Yes!” immediately without any hesitation. After agreeing to take up my mission, I had to challenge myself to memorize all the dance steps which was an uphill task for someone like me who had short-term memory and no dance background. Having to attend the practices regularly also posed a test to my determination as I had no support in my family.
I quickly included the following in my prayers which was to fulfill this mission right to the very end and at the same time, to bring forth the courage to invite my husband and parents in law to attend the Cultural festival. I prayed that my entire family would be activated in helping me fulfill this mission. Other than assisting to coordinate the dance practices, I also had to arrange for transportation to ferry the other participants to and fro from the practices. I chanted daimoku to pray that my husband could become my shoten zenjin by helping to ferry the members in the Taho/ Many Treasures group. Unimaginably, my husband not only agreed to my request to help out, he even volunteered his help at a stationary stall set up during the Cultural Festival. I realized my prayer to have the whole family to play an active role during this Cultural Festival, and that included my 88 years old grandmother. After the end of the event, my husband and parents in law had a shift in their opinion towards my practice and faith and they supported me fully in all my Kosen-rufu activities. This made me deeply gratified.
After the Cultural festival, I had the good fortune to switch to a higher paying job which offered me better benefits. However at the same time, my husband’s job had become unstable due to a mid-career switch so I had to bear the additional financial burden. I recalled my seniors in faith had shared before that Zaimu contribution was the best opportunity to overcome financial difficulties. Therefore, I set the prayer to have the financial means to make zaimu contribution. With my ichinen and prayer, I was able to give my best at my workplace and thus gained the recognition of my bosses whom in turn decided to give me a pay raise. I was able to use this additional money earned to contribute to the zaimu. My previous debtor who owed me 500 thousand dollars also had also decided to repay me through monthly instalments. All these conspicuous benefits became the actual proofs of my zaimu contribution.
During 2010, I was troubled by family issues and my husband’s job instability. I made the determination to turn my karma into my mission. I signed up to join the Sunflower group and also took up responsibility in a special group to provide counselling and encouragement to the Future Division students. With these 2 additional missions, I was busily involved in Gakkai activities and I was indeed thankful to my husband for giving me his fullest support. At the end of the year, my husband had managed to secure himself with a stable income and was able to bear the financial responsibility for the whole family once again.
With my newfound mission to take care of the future division group members, I looked forward and treasured every meeting with them. Although I had to rush down after work and travel all the way to the kaikan every month to attend the 3 divisions’ discussion meetings, I did not find it tiring. On the contrary, I was filled with deep gratitude to have this noble mission. Deep in my heart, I was resolute to work hard to foster this group of Future Division students from Xiangshan district and guide them onto the path of happiness on behalf of Ikeda Sensei.
Tsunesaburo Makiguchi, author and philosopher who founded Soka Kyoiku Gakkai, and a leading educator once shared, “The starting point and essence of Soka education is the spirit to treasure each student individually so that they can become happy and enjoy a glorious future. . It approaches the work of education from the standpoint of absolute respect for the dignity of life and with the aim of raising self-reliant human beings who can create value in their own lives and in society.” (Soka University and SokaGakuen Educational Foundation 2001)
The above by Makiguchi Sensei was the guiding philosophy in fulfilling this mission.
The highlight of the Future Division meeting was the annual Summer camp. The namelist under my charge consisted of 9 students who always acted nonchalantly and always carrying the “could not care less” attitude. There were 3 siblings who came from a single-parent family and simply ignored me every time I tried to home visit to talk to them. However, through the conversation with their grandmother, she had expressed her fervent wish that her two grandchildren could join in the camp. I told myself I should not give up so easily for the happiness of this family. I therefore encouraged the grandmother and told her, “Let’s chant daimoku and set a prayer together that both your grandchildren must attend the Summer camp joyously!”
The week after, I went to home visit them again together with a YWD leader. We brought fried chicken and bubble tea along, hoping to let them build their trust in us and to become more willing to open up to us. We had a heart to heart dialogue with them and explained to them patiently about the significance of the Summer camp. After the dialogue, the brother had not only agreed to sign up for the camp, but even managed to convince his two sisters to join with him.
Subsequently, we continued to do home visits and managed to encourage a shy and introverted student, whose grandmother was the only family member practicing, to join in the camp. Through this camp, he managed to build up her self-confidence and even stood up and shared during a discussion meeting. Her mother who was not practicing yet was overjoyed and touched to see his growth. It was truly the greatest good fortune to be able to witness the growth and development of these Future Division students in a safe and warm Soka environment.
In the same year, I also took up the mission to be a “Loving Mother” which is a group dedicated to taking care of students who travelled from other parts of Taiwan to study in universities. I was taking care of two University students at that time. Due to the hectic school work, I slowly lost contact with one of them. However, I continued to chant daimoku to pray that we could build a trusting relationship in which she could approach me when she needed help. After I change my phone to a smartphone, I was able to use Line Apps to communicate with her, and also invited her to one of the discussion meetings held in the University. Unfortunately, she was unable to attend due to her commitment in other group activities in her University. After the discussion meeting ended, I decided to go with a district WD leader to visit her at her dormitory. Through this act of concern, we were able to hit it off well and had a warm and open dialogue.
For the first time, my chapter held a gathering for the University student and she attended. We were able to forge a closer relationship during the gathering. Until today, I held firm to the vow to continue to fulfill my mission in caring for the youths and fostering them to capable leaders for kosen-fufu.
In March 2013, my company faced an economic downturn and had to retrench workers to cut cost for manpower. Since my mother in-law was facing health issues, I decided to tender my resignation. After the condition in my family stabilized, I chanted and prayed to the Gohonzon to be able to find a suitable job. This prayer was answered promptly as I managed to find a job at a clinic a few months later in July.
Nichiren taught: “Dedication and that is thought to be the practice of the Lotus Sutra.” Based on this spirit Daishonin taught, I gave my 100 percent at work. One month after I started work in this clinic, the doctor saw my enthusiasm and commitment towards my work and decided to fully subsidize my work health insurance. This in turn allowed me to have an additional savings of 20 thousand dollars yearly.
Ikeda Sensei had taught, “Those who persevere in faith no matter in what circumstances will definitely become happy and gain true victory in life. They will forge a solid and vast life state in which they can overcome any challenges.” From a stand-alone faith, I was able to do my human revolution and show actual proofs in my life so much so that my husband and my parents’ in-law had become supportive of my faith. Right now, I have a stable job which allows me to demonstrate my strength. I am also able to participate freely in all Gakkai activities without any worries. I determine to continue to lead a life based on my mentor’s teaching, to eternally follow in my mentor’s footstep to work for the peace and happiness for all human beings. I determine to follow the guideline for faith to maintain a harmonious family and to show actual proofs in every aspect of my life. Lastly, I determine to foster and nurture my children and the youth divisions to capable leaders for kosen-rufu so that they would be able to contribute and bring benefit to society.
[Source: He Le, August 2014 issue]
Translation Disclaimer: The original testimonial is in the Chinese Language. It has been translated to the English Language for our readers’ convenience. Reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate translation, however the editorial team acknowledged that the translation may not be perfect to the author’s original and seeks our readers understanding. Please note that all guidance and quotes are loosely translated.
(编辑注释: 以上是中英翻译,原版如下.)
超越喪女之痛及病業
關愛創價後繼 走向使命人生
柯敏玲
台灣
我在1998年入信,因個人信仰,參加活動是非常大的挑戰,但我沒有放棄,持續努力,秉持對妙法的確信與堅持,孩子從小就跟著我參加創價活動。
女兒車禍過世 以信心超越痛苦
2004年,大女兒發生車禍過世,我陷入極端痛苦中,每天以淚洗面,但我相信女兒深負使命,在強盛祈求下,葬儀社老闆成為諸天善神,讓家人願意為女兒舉辦創價告別式,順利晉塔在慈恩堂,莊嚴隆重的儀式,讓家人非常感謝創價及學會員,並加深對佛法的認同與瞭解。
治喪結束後,我仍未走出失去孩子的傷痛,沒有辦法走出大門,而且會很怕光,更無法上班,最後只能辭掉工作。我驚覺自己罹患與媽媽一樣的憂鬱症,因母親在父親過世後罹患嚴重憂鬱症,進出精神療養院。「難道我要跟媽媽一樣嗎?」我不斷告訴自己,絕對不可以再這樣下去,一定要宿命轉換。
我開始挑戰每天唱題3小時,告訴白己一定要站起來,證明妙法的偉大,感謝信仰的力量,及地區共戰姊妹的鼓勵,陪我走出憂鬱症。我懷抱感謝的心,決意要連女兒的份也一起努力。
為了報答創價之恩,2007年社區友好文化節時,我祈求要努力投入文化節,要有使命。結果就接到組長打來電話,要我擔任「多寶會」節目的小種子,我馬上回答:「願意!」沒想到小種子責任重大,這對於經常忘東忘西,又沒有舞蹈細胞的我,真是一大挑戰。加上個人信仰的我,頻繁出去練習也是很大的考驗。
強盛祈求完成使命 全家參與文化節
我除了強盛祈求要完成使命之外,並祈願這次文化節一定要有勇氣邀約先生、公婆來參加,全家總動員。擔任小種子除了協助舞蹈練習之外,還要安排交通輸送。我祈求先生能成為我們的諸天善神,歡喜幫忙輸送多寶媽媽,不可思議地,先生不但願意幫忙,還投入文化節的靜態攤位,當天如祈求般全家總動員,包括88歲的奶奶也來參加。文化節結束後,先生與公婆對我信仰的態度有所改變,很支持我參加活動,讓我萬分感動。
文化節後我找到了一份薪水待遇比以前更好的工作,然而,因先生中年轉業,工作不穩定,經濟重擔全落在我身上。前輩常說,供養是轉換經濟苦最好的機會,於是我祈求一定要有能力供養。在工作上我全力以赴,獲得老闆加薪,讓我能夠做供養。之後,積欠我50萬元的債主,竟然主動每個月償還債務,讓我感受到供養的功德。
擔任園中輔導阿姨 溫暖鼓勵國中生
2010年,我面臨家庭及先生工作不穩定的煩惱,我決意「以使命轉換宿命」報名參加金葵會及担任國中部輔導阿姨,因為多了两項使命,活動更為忙碌。感謝先生的支持,讓我能安心投入活動。先生就在年底找到一份穩定的工作,肩負起一家經濟的重任。
擔任國中輔導阿姨後,我非常珍惜每一次的國中部活動,雖然毎個月都要到頭份萬喜講堂開三部協議會,下班後非常趕,但我一點也不覺得辛苦,反而非常感謝。內心強盛決意要代替池田先生為了香山地區國中部同學的幸福,一定要更加努力。
創價教育之父牧口創會會長 :「教育的根本目的,是為了孩子的幸福,要培育孩子擁有一顆自主、挑戰、學習的心,不管任何困境都能以絕對不輸的精神開創自己的未來人生。」我以這段鼓勵作為努力目標。
國中部重頭戲就是每年暑期舉辦的歡樂成長營。鼓勵名单中有9位同學都是酷酷的,愛理不理的,其中有一對單親家庭的姊弟,對我的家訪與對話不予理會,但一想到他們的奶奶是多麼希望孫子參加,為了奶奶及同學的幸福我怎麼能放棄?於是我鼓勵奶奶說:我們一起為孫子好好祈求,一定要歡喜出席。隔一星期我與女子部再度家訪,並特地買了香雞排及奶茶,與她們―起享用,拉近與孩子旳距離。透過關心的對話,並告訴他們參加暑期活動的意義。結果,弟弟不僅願意報名,也影響姐姐及妹妹一起來參加。
之後,我與女子部陸續家訪鼓勵了一位奶奶是個人信仰,媽媽尚未入信的同學及一位很內向的同學報名參加暑期活動。這位個性內向的同學透過活動變得更有自信,並在座談會分亨「愛讀書單元」,他的母親看到孩子的成長好高興。看到這些孩子能夠在创價這麼好的環境學習、成長,實在是很幸福。
參與愛心媽媽行列 決意全力培育青年
2010年,我開始擔任愛心媽媽,照顧两位從外地來念書的大學生。其中一位大學生因課業忙碌漸漸聯繋不上。但,我還是持續祈求能與她建立良好互動。直到換了智慧型手機後,我開始用LINE與孩子聊天,邀約她參加大學座談會,結果她因參加社團活動無法出席。當天活動結束後我與地區婦人部長一起到宿舍去關心她,彼此聊得非常開心。今年竹香支部首次舉辦大學會聚餐,這位大學生終於出席了,更拉近彼此距離。今後,我仍會秉持「愛護青年、培育青年」之心繼續努力。
2013年3月因公司財務出現狀況縮減人力,加上婆婆生病,於是我提出離職。在家裡情況穩定之後,我向御本尊祈求,要再找一份適合我的工作。結果,就在7月底找到一家診所的工作,我秉持御書教示:「奉公即是法華經之修行」精神認真努力,就在上班滿一個月,醫生看到我積極的態度,決定全額補貼勞健保,讓我一年多出兩万元收入可以作為供養金,真的非常感謝。
誠如池田先生指導:「在任何情況下,堅持信心的人一定會得到幸福,成為真正的勝利者,獲得永不崩潰的偉大境界。」個人信仰的我,在持續努力兼顧工作、信心活動及家庭之下,受到公公、婆婆及先生的認冋與支持。現在我擁有一份穩定、發揮所長的工作,更可以自由自在參與各項活動。今後,我決意以師心為己心,永遠跟隨師匠,為人類幸福努力;建立「一家和樂的信心,創造勝利實證;培育子女及廣布後繼,貢獻社會人群。
[和樂新闻,2014年8月号]
Fostering future leaders of Soka. Walking a lifelong path of mission
Ke Min Ling
Taiwan
I took up faith in 1998. As I was the only one practicing Daishonin Buddhism in the family, it was extremely challenging for me to attend Gakkai meetings with no one to support. However, this little setback did not deter me from persevering in my faith and practice. I had absolute faith in the Mystic Law and my children would follow me each time I went for Gakkai activities.
During 2004, my elder daughter met with a fatal car accident. I was totally devastated and cried almost every day. Though deeply shattered, I believed she must have had a mission for this premature suffering. The funeral undertaker became my Buddhist God (Shoten Zenjin) by helping to convince my non-practicing family to hold a Soka Funeral Service for my daughter. The entire funeral was held in a grand and solemn manner and my family and relatives were filled with gratitude towards the Soka members for rendering their help. Through my daughter’s passing, my family was able to have a better understanding of this Buddhism.
After the funeral ended, I still could not come to term with the loss of my precious daughter. I was in so much despair that I could not even bring myself to leave the house almost every day. I dreaded daylight so much that I suddenly had phobia of bright lights. Things got so bad that I could not even go to work and had to give up my job in the end. I came to a shocking realization that I might have fallen into serious depression just like my mother. My mother suffered depression after the passing of my father and had to undergo psychiatrist’s treatment in a mental asylum. “Do I want to suffer like my mother?” It was a good wakeup call and I told myself that I must not carry on in this way. I must definitely overcome this karma and turn poison into medicine.
I set a personal goal of chanting 3 hours of daimoku a day. I told myself that I must definitely recover and use this actual proof as a testimony to this great Mystic Law. I was thankful that I was able to walk out of depression through the power of daimoku coupled with the support and encouragement given by my district comrades. With this gratitude deeply etched in my heart, I vowed to work even harder for Kosen-rufu on behalf of my daughter.
To repay my debt of gratitude to Soka, I prayed fervently that I must be actively involved in the Community Friendship Cultural Festival held in 2007. True to my prayers, my leader contacted me to ask if I would be willing participate in the programme in charge by the Taho(Many Treasures) Group. I said, “Yes!” immediately without any hesitation. After agreeing to take up my mission, I had to challenge myself to memorize all the dance steps which was an uphill task for someone like me who had short-term memory and no dance background. Having to attend the practices regularly also posed a test to my determination as I had no support in my family.
I quickly included the following in my prayers which was to fulfill this mission right to the very end and at the same time, to bring forth the courage to invite my husband and parents in law to attend the Cultural festival. I prayed that my entire family would be activated in helping me fulfill this mission. Other than assisting to coordinate the dance practices, I also had to arrange for transportation to ferry the other participants to and fro from the practices. I chanted daimoku to pray that my husband could become my shoten zenjin by helping to ferry the members in the Taho/ Many Treasures group. Unimaginably, my husband not only agreed to my request to help out, he even volunteered his help at a stationary stall set up during the Cultural Festival. I realized my prayer to have the whole family to play an active role during this Cultural Festival, and that included my 88 years old grandmother. After the end of the event, my husband and parents in law had a shift in their opinion towards my practice and faith and they supported me fully in all my Kosen-rufu activities. This made me deeply gratified.
After the Cultural festival, I had the good fortune to switch to a higher paying job which offered me better benefits. However at the same time, my husband’s job had become unstable due to a mid-career switch so I had to bear the additional financial burden. I recalled my seniors in faith had shared before that Zaimu contribution was the best opportunity to overcome financial difficulties. Therefore, I set the prayer to have the financial means to make zaimu contribution. With my ichinen and prayer, I was able to give my best at my workplace and thus gained the recognition of my bosses whom in turn decided to give me a pay raise. I was able to use this additional money earned to contribute to the zaimu. My previous debtor who owed me 500 thousand dollars also had also decided to repay me through monthly instalments. All these conspicuous benefits became the actual proofs of my zaimu contribution.
During 2010, I was troubled by family issues and my husband’s job instability. I made the determination to turn my karma into my mission. I signed up to join the Sunflower group and also took up responsibility in a special group to provide counselling and encouragement to the Future Division students. With these 2 additional missions, I was busily involved in Gakkai activities and I was indeed thankful to my husband for giving me his fullest support. At the end of the year, my husband had managed to secure himself with a stable income and was able to bear the financial responsibility for the whole family once again.
With my newfound mission to take care of the future division group members, I looked forward and treasured every meeting with them. Although I had to rush down after work and travel all the way to the kaikan every month to attend the 3 divisions’ discussion meetings, I did not find it tiring. On the contrary, I was filled with deep gratitude to have this noble mission. Deep in my heart, I was resolute to work hard to foster this group of Future Division students from Xiangshan district and guide them onto the path of happiness on behalf of Ikeda Sensei.
Tsunesaburo Makiguchi, author and philosopher who founded Soka Kyoiku Gakkai, and a leading educator once shared, “The starting point and essence of Soka education is the spirit to treasure each student individually so that they can become happy and enjoy a glorious future. . It approaches the work of education from the standpoint of absolute respect for the dignity of life and with the aim of raising self-reliant human beings who can create value in their own lives and in society.” (Soka University and SokaGakuen Educational Foundation 2001)
The above by Makiguchi Sensei was the guiding philosophy in fulfilling this mission.
The highlight of the Future Division meeting was the annual Summer camp. The namelist under my charge consisted of 9 students who always acted nonchalantly and always carrying the “could not care less” attitude. There were 3 siblings who came from a single-parent family and simply ignored me every time I tried to home visit to talk to them. However, through the conversation with their grandmother, she had expressed her fervent wish that her two grandchildren could join in the camp. I told myself I should not give up so easily for the happiness of this family. I therefore encouraged the grandmother and told her, “Let’s chant daimoku and set a prayer together that both your grandchildren must attend the Summer camp joyously!”
The week after, I went to home visit them again together with a YWD leader. We brought fried chicken and bubble tea along, hoping to let them build their trust in us and to become more willing to open up to us. We had a heart to heart dialogue with them and explained to them patiently about the significance of the Summer camp. After the dialogue, the brother had not only agreed to sign up for the camp, but even managed to convince his two sisters to join with him.
Subsequently, we continued to do home visits and managed to encourage a shy and introverted student, whose grandmother was the only family member practicing, to join in the camp. Through this camp, he managed to build up her self-confidence and even stood up and shared during a discussion meeting. Her mother who was not practicing yet was overjoyed and touched to see his growth. It was truly the greatest good fortune to be able to witness the growth and development of these Future Division students in a safe and warm Soka environment.
In the same year, I also took up the mission to be a “Loving Mother” which is a group dedicated to taking care of students who travelled from other parts of Taiwan to study in universities. I was taking care of two University students at that time. Due to the hectic school work, I slowly lost contact with one of them. However, I continued to chant daimoku to pray that we could build a trusting relationship in which she could approach me when she needed help. After I change my phone to a smartphone, I was able to use Line Apps to communicate with her, and also invited her to one of the discussion meetings held in the University. Unfortunately, she was unable to attend due to her commitment in other group activities in her University. After the discussion meeting ended, I decided to go with a district WD leader to visit her at her dormitory. Through this act of concern, we were able to hit it off well and had a warm and open dialogue.
For the first time, my chapter held a gathering for the University student and she attended. We were able to forge a closer relationship during the gathering. Until today, I held firm to the vow to continue to fulfill my mission in caring for the youths and fostering them to capable leaders for kosen-fufu.
In March 2013, my company faced an economic downturn and had to retrench workers to cut cost for manpower. Since my mother in-law was facing health issues, I decided to tender my resignation. After the condition in my family stabilized, I chanted and prayed to the Gohonzon to be able to find a suitable job. This prayer was answered promptly as I managed to find a job at a clinic a few months later in July.
Nichiren taught: “Dedication and that is thought to be the practice of the Lotus Sutra.” Based on this spirit Daishonin taught, I gave my 100 percent at work. One month after I started work in this clinic, the doctor saw my enthusiasm and commitment towards my work and decided to fully subsidize my work health insurance. This in turn allowed me to have an additional savings of 20 thousand dollars yearly.
Ikeda Sensei had taught, “Those who persevere in faith no matter in what circumstances will definitely become happy and gain true victory in life. They will forge a solid and vast life state in which they can overcome any challenges.” From a stand-alone faith, I was able to do my human revolution and show actual proofs in my life so much so that my husband and my parents’ in-law had become supportive of my faith. Right now, I have a stable job which allows me to demonstrate my strength. I am also able to participate freely in all Gakkai activities without any worries. I determine to continue to lead a life based on my mentor’s teaching, to eternally follow in my mentor’s footstep to work for the peace and happiness for all human beings. I determine to follow the guideline for faith to maintain a harmonious family and to show actual proofs in every aspect of my life. Lastly, I determine to foster and nurture my children and the youth divisions to capable leaders for kosen-rufu so that they would be able to contribute and bring benefit to society.
[Source: He Le, August 2014 issue]
Translation Disclaimer: The original testimonial is in the Chinese Language. It has been translated to the English Language for our readers’ convenience. Reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate translation, however the editorial team acknowledged that the translation may not be perfect to the author’s original and seeks our readers understanding. Please note that all guidance and quotes are loosely translated.
(编辑注释: 以上是中英翻译,原版如下.)
超越喪女之痛及病業
關愛創價後繼 走向使命人生
柯敏玲
台灣
我在1998年入信,因個人信仰,參加活動是非常大的挑戰,但我沒有放棄,持續努力,秉持對妙法的確信與堅持,孩子從小就跟著我參加創價活動。
女兒車禍過世 以信心超越痛苦
2004年,大女兒發生車禍過世,我陷入極端痛苦中,每天以淚洗面,但我相信女兒深負使命,在強盛祈求下,葬儀社老闆成為諸天善神,讓家人願意為女兒舉辦創價告別式,順利晉塔在慈恩堂,莊嚴隆重的儀式,讓家人非常感謝創價及學會員,並加深對佛法的認同與瞭解。
治喪結束後,我仍未走出失去孩子的傷痛,沒有辦法走出大門,而且會很怕光,更無法上班,最後只能辭掉工作。我驚覺自己罹患與媽媽一樣的憂鬱症,因母親在父親過世後罹患嚴重憂鬱症,進出精神療養院。「難道我要跟媽媽一樣嗎?」我不斷告訴自己,絕對不可以再這樣下去,一定要宿命轉換。
我開始挑戰每天唱題3小時,告訴白己一定要站起來,證明妙法的偉大,感謝信仰的力量,及地區共戰姊妹的鼓勵,陪我走出憂鬱症。我懷抱感謝的心,決意要連女兒的份也一起努力。
為了報答創價之恩,2007年社區友好文化節時,我祈求要努力投入文化節,要有使命。結果就接到組長打來電話,要我擔任「多寶會」節目的小種子,我馬上回答:「願意!」沒想到小種子責任重大,這對於經常忘東忘西,又沒有舞蹈細胞的我,真是一大挑戰。加上個人信仰的我,頻繁出去練習也是很大的考驗。
強盛祈求完成使命 全家參與文化節
我除了強盛祈求要完成使命之外,並祈願這次文化節一定要有勇氣邀約先生、公婆來參加,全家總動員。擔任小種子除了協助舞蹈練習之外,還要安排交通輸送。我祈求先生能成為我們的諸天善神,歡喜幫忙輸送多寶媽媽,不可思議地,先生不但願意幫忙,還投入文化節的靜態攤位,當天如祈求般全家總動員,包括88歲的奶奶也來參加。文化節結束後,先生與公婆對我信仰的態度有所改變,很支持我參加活動,讓我萬分感動。
文化節後我找到了一份薪水待遇比以前更好的工作,然而,因先生中年轉業,工作不穩定,經濟重擔全落在我身上。前輩常說,供養是轉換經濟苦最好的機會,於是我祈求一定要有能力供養。在工作上我全力以赴,獲得老闆加薪,讓我能夠做供養。之後,積欠我50萬元的債主,竟然主動每個月償還債務,讓我感受到供養的功德。
擔任園中輔導阿姨 溫暖鼓勵國中生
2010年,我面臨家庭及先生工作不穩定的煩惱,我決意「以使命轉換宿命」報名參加金葵會及担任國中部輔導阿姨,因為多了两項使命,活動更為忙碌。感謝先生的支持,讓我能安心投入活動。先生就在年底找到一份穩定的工作,肩負起一家經濟的重任。
擔任國中輔導阿姨後,我非常珍惜每一次的國中部活動,雖然毎個月都要到頭份萬喜講堂開三部協議會,下班後非常趕,但我一點也不覺得辛苦,反而非常感謝。內心強盛決意要代替池田先生為了香山地區國中部同學的幸福,一定要更加努力。
創價教育之父牧口創會會長 :「教育的根本目的,是為了孩子的幸福,要培育孩子擁有一顆自主、挑戰、學習的心,不管任何困境都能以絕對不輸的精神開創自己的未來人生。」我以這段鼓勵作為努力目標。
國中部重頭戲就是每年暑期舉辦的歡樂成長營。鼓勵名单中有9位同學都是酷酷的,愛理不理的,其中有一對單親家庭的姊弟,對我的家訪與對話不予理會,但一想到他們的奶奶是多麼希望孫子參加,為了奶奶及同學的幸福我怎麼能放棄?於是我鼓勵奶奶說:我們一起為孫子好好祈求,一定要歡喜出席。隔一星期我與女子部再度家訪,並特地買了香雞排及奶茶,與她們―起享用,拉近與孩子旳距離。透過關心的對話,並告訴他們參加暑期活動的意義。結果,弟弟不僅願意報名,也影響姐姐及妹妹一起來參加。
之後,我與女子部陸續家訪鼓勵了一位奶奶是個人信仰,媽媽尚未入信的同學及一位很內向的同學報名參加暑期活動。這位個性內向的同學透過活動變得更有自信,並在座談會分亨「愛讀書單元」,他的母親看到孩子的成長好高興。看到這些孩子能夠在创價這麼好的環境學習、成長,實在是很幸福。
參與愛心媽媽行列 決意全力培育青年
2010年,我開始擔任愛心媽媽,照顧两位從外地來念書的大學生。其中一位大學生因課業忙碌漸漸聯繋不上。但,我還是持續祈求能與她建立良好互動。直到換了智慧型手機後,我開始用LINE與孩子聊天,邀約她參加大學座談會,結果她因參加社團活動無法出席。當天活動結束後我與地區婦人部長一起到宿舍去關心她,彼此聊得非常開心。今年竹香支部首次舉辦大學會聚餐,這位大學生終於出席了,更拉近彼此距離。今後,我仍會秉持「愛護青年、培育青年」之心繼續努力。
2013年3月因公司財務出現狀況縮減人力,加上婆婆生病,於是我提出離職。在家裡情況穩定之後,我向御本尊祈求,要再找一份適合我的工作。結果,就在7月底找到一家診所的工作,我秉持御書教示:「奉公即是法華經之修行」精神認真努力,就在上班滿一個月,醫生看到我積極的態度,決定全額補貼勞健保,讓我一年多出兩万元收入可以作為供養金,真的非常感謝。
誠如池田先生指導:「在任何情況下,堅持信心的人一定會得到幸福,成為真正的勝利者,獲得永不崩潰的偉大境界。」個人信仰的我,在持續努力兼顧工作、信心活動及家庭之下,受到公公、婆婆及先生的認冋與支持。現在我擁有一份穩定、發揮所長的工作,更可以自由自在參與各項活動。今後,我決意以師心為己心,永遠跟隨師匠,為人類幸福努力;建立「一家和樂的信心,創造勝利實證;培育子女及廣布後繼,貢獻社會人群。
[和樂新闻,2014年8月号]