Strong and Courageous Mother of Soka,
Guiding my autistic son to unleash his hidden potential
Tang Ya Ting
Taiwan
When my son, Gao Yan, was more than a year old,I noticed he was lagging behind in terms of inter-personal interaction and social-emotional development as compared to toddlers of similar age. I also observed he did not have much eye contact during his interaction with people and had not even started to babble or show signs of picking up a language. To ensure that he was developing like any normal child, I plucked up the courage to bring him to the hospital for a detailed assessment and medical check-up.
The Big Challenge of having an autistic Son
When he was 2 years and 8 months, he was diagnosed with severe autism and suffered from multiple socio-emotional disabilities. Although he is 13 years old now, he still cannot communicate verbally, has poor psycho-motor skills and still needs help in many daily activities.
Before the age of seven, my son dwelled in a world of suffering, totally estranged from us. After the diagnosis, our family was determined to challenge autism every day. Besides going for physio-therapy, we also tried eastern and western medicine, acupuncture and even sought help from different gods and deities.
Gao Yan suffered both physically and mentally due to his sensitive nature. There was a period where he would cry himself to sleep in the night. Each time he wept, it would last for a few hours and this persisted for a few months. He even turned violent against us. As parents, we could only keep guessing what Gao Yan was trying to communicate. We also tried all types of autistic treatments on him, but with limited success.
Encountering the Mystic Law, Becoming a Strong and Courageous Mother
In 2005, I was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism by the mother of my daughter’s classmate, who encouraged me to start chanting. Shortly after joining Soka Gakkai, I was able to truly feel the warmth and strength of the organisation through the members’ selfless assistance and guidance. Through faith, practice and study, I began to understand that my child is not the source of my suffering but instead, he was a driving force for my own advancement.As the Gosho states: “Being parents, for the sake of child, we need to learn continuously”. In 2010, with the support of my husband, I received the Gohonzon and also took on the mission as a group leader. Gradually, I was able to do my human revolution to transform myself from a weak and pessimistic mother to become a positive, courageous and determined Soka mother.
Son grew and developed constantly, displaying the talent of the written word
The change in me led to the transformation in my family. This is especially so for Gao Yan whose life reached a turning point as numerous shoten zenjin (Buddhist Gods) appeared to help us. Under the guidance of a psychologist, he began to communicate with others through phonetic typing. This method enabled him to make known to us his needs and thoughts, allowing a breakthrough in his severe socio-emotional disabilities.
When Gao Yan was in Primary two, he requested for a transfer from special needs classes to mainstream classes so that he can learn together with normal children. This posed a huge challenge to him but I chose to believe and support him unconditionally. Determined to fight alongside him, I became a “accompanied mother” ever since he was in Primary Two to sit in during all his lessons. I was filled with gratitude to Soka Gakkai for what kept me going during the tough times when things did not go my way, was my conviction in Daishonin’s teachings that we can change the impossible to possible.
Gao Yan is an astute child as he is able to, through his writings, bring us into his own world, as well as the vastly imaginative and creative inner world of other children who suffered the same verbal impairment as him. Since Primary Two, he started to write essays and published them using a personal blog set up by his father. Gao Yan gave the title, “The Days I Interact with Human Beings on Earth” to his personal blog, in which, he shared his personal feelings and his own life. It had received overwhelming responses from a large group of netizens.
My Son had published book, Won President Education Award
For 3 consecutive years since Primary 4, Gao Yan was awarded the “National Socio-emotional Disability Literature Prize” organized by the Cultural Department for the best literary work. He was the first participant who had won the Literature Prize for three consecutive years since it was first opened to the Primary level group. Beside putting in efforts in his studies and composing essays, Gao Yan also led his life to the fullest by taking up drawing, music and swimming lessons, as well as participated in the various charity activities. He took it upon himself to fulfill the mission of “finding a voice for the autistic patients”.
In June 2012, when a documentary featuring Gao Yan’streatment processes for autism and his learning and life struggles was uploaded on Youtube, it touched the hearts of many who did not have the opportunities to understand what autistic people went through. In February 2013, Wenjing Publisher took the initiative to help him publish the book “The Days I interact with Human Beings on Earth”. The book contained Gao Yan’s biography which took him half a year to complete. This was done in the hope to create public awareness to have a better understanding of autistic children like him and it was also a big step towards helping Gao Yan walk into the lives of the common people.
In 2013, he was nominated by Tao Yuan province as one of the top ten most outstanding people with socio-emotional disabilities. This year, through several rounds of selection, he was bestowed with the most prestigious President Education Award. Being a thoughtful person, Gao Yan often expressed his heartfelt gratitude and appreciation for me through his written expressions. Although he could not utter the word “mum” to me, he expressed it countless times in his essays and this brought tears to my eyes and many mothers who read them.
Filled with Gratitude of the Mystic Law, Family determined to strive for Kosen-rufu
Just before Mother’s Day this year, Gao Yan and his sister composed a poem for me to express their sense of appreciation. Through the poem, I sensed that both my children are determined to construct a happy and peaceful future, together with me. How could I even complain I am tired and wish to relax for a moment? Although the arrival of Gao Yan brought a minor setback to our life and he had to come to this tormented world which brought him sufferings, however, this is in fact both his and the entire family’s noble mission to fight and overcome this obstacle together. I have made my vow to be more steadfast in doing my daimoku and gongyo as well as in my participation in all Gakkai activities. I vowed to have strong stand-alone spirit, to be able to encourage others and to foster the Future and Youth Division members. I also vowed to strike a balance in both taking care of my family and attending Gakkai activities. I resolved to nurture Gao Yan and his sister to become capable successors for kosen-rufu. Filled with this deep sense of gratitude for Gohonzon, our family vowed to continue to strive on the path for kosen rufu with Itai-doshin spirit.
(Gao Yan's Poem: What we have received are just these – Dedicated to our dearest mother on her Birthday and Mother’s Day)
Mother is a word that swirls in my heart, mind and throat
It ebbs and flows but could not burst forth
Keeping all desires and hopes in check
You are my constant companion and pillar
The deep and shallow of the past
Let’s keep them in the cloud of the word and amongst the images
It does not matter if they matter or not
Since we are mother and child
Our hearts will forever be united as one
Without waiting for a Thank You, tears already fill the eyes
As a facade for escape
I will keep your happiness in my mind and protect it
Not only happiness
Not only today
[Source: 和乐, SGI-Taiwan. 2014]
Translation Disclaimer: The original testimonial is in the Chinese Language. It has been translated to the English Language for our readers’ convenience. Reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate translation, however the editorial team acknowledged that the translation may not be perfect to the author’s original and seeks our readers understanding. Please note that all guidance and quotes are loosely translated.
(编辑注释: 以上是中英翻译,原版如下.)
堅強、勇敢的創價母親
引導自閉症孩子 展開潛能雙翼
唐雅婷
台灣
兒子高晏1歲多時,我感覺他在人際互動及生理發展上,比起同齡的孩子有很大落差。他的眼神不太與人對焦,也沒有牙牙學語的過程,於是我鼓起勇氣,帶他前往醫院進行相關評估及檢查。
兒子罹患自閉症 面臨巨大考驗
在他2歲8個月的時候,被判定為重度自閉症及多重障礙患者,目前已經13歲的他,仍然無法以口語溝通,而且大小動作協調性不佳,在生活上許多地方都需要協助。
7歲以前的兒子,是活在與我們隔離的痛苦世界裡。在確診之後,一家人都帶著向自閉症挑戰的心情,持續每日奮戰,除了不間斷進行各種復健治療之外,也嘗試中西醫藥物及針灸,還到處求神問卜。
孩子的心理與身體都非常敏感與痛苦,常持續幾個月夜哭,一哭就是兩、三個小時,甚至還對父母出現攻擊的行為。我們只能不斷地去猜測高晏的意思,也努力學習各種自閉症療法來教導他,但效果非常有限。
值遇妙法 成為勇敢堅強母親
2005年,女兒同學的媽媽向我介紹了妙法,鼓勵我唱題。加入創價後,學會員對我無私的幫助與引導,讓我感受到創價學會的溫暖與力量。在實踐信行學過程中,我了解到孩子不是我痛苦的根源,而是我前進的動力,正如御書云:「為父母也,為其子也,必是宿習焉。」2010年,在先生支持下,我敬領了御本尊,也接下了小組長等各項使命。漸漸地,我從一位悲觀、懦弱的媽媽,慢慢成長為正向、勇敢、有韌性的創價母親。
兒子不斷蛻變成長 發揮文字 潛能
我的改變也讓整個家庭改變,尤其是高晏的生命出現了轉機,湧現眾多的諸天善神來幫助我們。他在專業心理師引領下,嘗試用注音打字的方式與人溝通, 讓我們了解他的需求與想法,不再出現嚴重的情緒障礙。
高晏在小學二年級時,向我提出從特教班轉到普通班就讀的想法,希望與普通的孩子一起學習,這對他而言是非常大的挑戰,但我選擇無條件相信與支持高晏,決心與他共戰,所以從他小二開始,我當起一位陪讀媽媽。感謝創價學會一路的引導,經常在我經歷努力卻在瞬間破功時,依然能相信佛法所說的,一切會有轉變的可能性。
高晏是一個敏銳、有智慧的孩子,他透過文字帶領我們進入他,甚至那些跟他一樣有著外在障礙卻是內心世界豐富的孩了心中。他從小學二年級開始寫作,先生幫他在網路上架設一個部落格,高晏自己取名叫做《我和地球人相處的日子》,在部落格上分享他的心情與生活,得到許多網友的熱烈迴響。
孩子出版書籍 榮獲總統教育獎殊榮
從小學四年級開始連續三年,高晏榮獲文化部舉辦的「全國身心障礙文薈獎」優選,也是自文薈獎設立國小組以來,第一位連續三年得獎的參賽者。除了認真讀書、努力創作外,他也積極學習繪畫、音樂、游泳,還參加許多公益活動,把「為自閉症患者發聲」當作自己的使命。
2012年6月,拍攝高晏治療、學習及生活的記錄片在youtube上播出後,讓許多關心及不了解自閉症的人們非常感動。2013年2月,文經出版社主動幫他出版《我和地球人相處的曰子》這本書,裡面還有他費時半年才完成的小小自傳,希望讓社會大眾能了解像他一樣的孩子,也為他自己走入人群跨出了更大一步。
2013年,他獲選為桃園縣十大傑出身心障礙者。在今年更是經歷層層篩選,榮獲「總統教育獎」的殊榮。高晏心思細膩、懂得感恩,他常常透過文字告訴我們他的感謝與感動。從來沒有對我叫過一聲媽媽的他,卻在文章裡吶喊了千百回,不只讓我,也讓非常多為人母者熱淚盈眶。
懷抱對妙法感恩 決意全家為廣布奮鬥
今年母親節前高晏送給我,他與妹妹表達感恩之情的一首詩〈得到的 只是這些 -- 給媽媽的母親節與生日〉。沒錯,「不止今天」,孩子願意與我同心協力、 構築一個幸福安心的未來,我又何嘗敢言累、可以在此時鬆懈。雖然晏晏帶著小小的障礙來到我們的生命,來到這個令他困擾的世界,可是、這就是他大大的使命,是我們一家共戰的使命。我已在心中決意,要更加腳踏實地唱題與活動;不但自立自強、還要能鼓勵他人,培育未來部與青年部;兼顧家庭與學會活動,將高晏與妹妹苡琛培養成為創價廣宣流布的卓越人才;懷著對御本尊的報恩心,一家人異體同心、奔走在為佛法的廣布大道上。
〈得到的只是這些一給媽媽的母親節與生曰〉
媽媽二字 在我心中 腦中 喉中
盤旋 氤醞 蒸騰
卻無法衝出
減低一切的慾望與期待
您就這薩一直一直
在我身邊守候 相伴
淺淺的 深深的過往
就把它們放在
文字的雲端 圖像的搜尋裡
要或不要
都不重要
既然成為母子
就會一直 連心
不待說謝 涙已滿眶
只當有作假面的逃逸
我會一直在意您的快樂
護航您的快樂
不止祝福
不止今天
[和樂新闻 2014年6月号]
Guiding my autistic son to unleash his hidden potential
Tang Ya Ting
Taiwan
When my son, Gao Yan, was more than a year old,I noticed he was lagging behind in terms of inter-personal interaction and social-emotional development as compared to toddlers of similar age. I also observed he did not have much eye contact during his interaction with people and had not even started to babble or show signs of picking up a language. To ensure that he was developing like any normal child, I plucked up the courage to bring him to the hospital for a detailed assessment and medical check-up.
The Big Challenge of having an autistic Son
When he was 2 years and 8 months, he was diagnosed with severe autism and suffered from multiple socio-emotional disabilities. Although he is 13 years old now, he still cannot communicate verbally, has poor psycho-motor skills and still needs help in many daily activities.
Before the age of seven, my son dwelled in a world of suffering, totally estranged from us. After the diagnosis, our family was determined to challenge autism every day. Besides going for physio-therapy, we also tried eastern and western medicine, acupuncture and even sought help from different gods and deities.
Gao Yan suffered both physically and mentally due to his sensitive nature. There was a period where he would cry himself to sleep in the night. Each time he wept, it would last for a few hours and this persisted for a few months. He even turned violent against us. As parents, we could only keep guessing what Gao Yan was trying to communicate. We also tried all types of autistic treatments on him, but with limited success.
Encountering the Mystic Law, Becoming a Strong and Courageous Mother
In 2005, I was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism by the mother of my daughter’s classmate, who encouraged me to start chanting. Shortly after joining Soka Gakkai, I was able to truly feel the warmth and strength of the organisation through the members’ selfless assistance and guidance. Through faith, practice and study, I began to understand that my child is not the source of my suffering but instead, he was a driving force for my own advancement.As the Gosho states: “Being parents, for the sake of child, we need to learn continuously”. In 2010, with the support of my husband, I received the Gohonzon and also took on the mission as a group leader. Gradually, I was able to do my human revolution to transform myself from a weak and pessimistic mother to become a positive, courageous and determined Soka mother.
Son grew and developed constantly, displaying the talent of the written word
The change in me led to the transformation in my family. This is especially so for Gao Yan whose life reached a turning point as numerous shoten zenjin (Buddhist Gods) appeared to help us. Under the guidance of a psychologist, he began to communicate with others through phonetic typing. This method enabled him to make known to us his needs and thoughts, allowing a breakthrough in his severe socio-emotional disabilities.
When Gao Yan was in Primary two, he requested for a transfer from special needs classes to mainstream classes so that he can learn together with normal children. This posed a huge challenge to him but I chose to believe and support him unconditionally. Determined to fight alongside him, I became a “accompanied mother” ever since he was in Primary Two to sit in during all his lessons. I was filled with gratitude to Soka Gakkai for what kept me going during the tough times when things did not go my way, was my conviction in Daishonin’s teachings that we can change the impossible to possible.
Gao Yan is an astute child as he is able to, through his writings, bring us into his own world, as well as the vastly imaginative and creative inner world of other children who suffered the same verbal impairment as him. Since Primary Two, he started to write essays and published them using a personal blog set up by his father. Gao Yan gave the title, “The Days I Interact with Human Beings on Earth” to his personal blog, in which, he shared his personal feelings and his own life. It had received overwhelming responses from a large group of netizens.
My Son had published book, Won President Education Award
For 3 consecutive years since Primary 4, Gao Yan was awarded the “National Socio-emotional Disability Literature Prize” organized by the Cultural Department for the best literary work. He was the first participant who had won the Literature Prize for three consecutive years since it was first opened to the Primary level group. Beside putting in efforts in his studies and composing essays, Gao Yan also led his life to the fullest by taking up drawing, music and swimming lessons, as well as participated in the various charity activities. He took it upon himself to fulfill the mission of “finding a voice for the autistic patients”.
In June 2012, when a documentary featuring Gao Yan’streatment processes for autism and his learning and life struggles was uploaded on Youtube, it touched the hearts of many who did not have the opportunities to understand what autistic people went through. In February 2013, Wenjing Publisher took the initiative to help him publish the book “The Days I interact with Human Beings on Earth”. The book contained Gao Yan’s biography which took him half a year to complete. This was done in the hope to create public awareness to have a better understanding of autistic children like him and it was also a big step towards helping Gao Yan walk into the lives of the common people.
In 2013, he was nominated by Tao Yuan province as one of the top ten most outstanding people with socio-emotional disabilities. This year, through several rounds of selection, he was bestowed with the most prestigious President Education Award. Being a thoughtful person, Gao Yan often expressed his heartfelt gratitude and appreciation for me through his written expressions. Although he could not utter the word “mum” to me, he expressed it countless times in his essays and this brought tears to my eyes and many mothers who read them.
Filled with Gratitude of the Mystic Law, Family determined to strive for Kosen-rufu
Just before Mother’s Day this year, Gao Yan and his sister composed a poem for me to express their sense of appreciation. Through the poem, I sensed that both my children are determined to construct a happy and peaceful future, together with me. How could I even complain I am tired and wish to relax for a moment? Although the arrival of Gao Yan brought a minor setback to our life and he had to come to this tormented world which brought him sufferings, however, this is in fact both his and the entire family’s noble mission to fight and overcome this obstacle together. I have made my vow to be more steadfast in doing my daimoku and gongyo as well as in my participation in all Gakkai activities. I vowed to have strong stand-alone spirit, to be able to encourage others and to foster the Future and Youth Division members. I also vowed to strike a balance in both taking care of my family and attending Gakkai activities. I resolved to nurture Gao Yan and his sister to become capable successors for kosen-rufu. Filled with this deep sense of gratitude for Gohonzon, our family vowed to continue to strive on the path for kosen rufu with Itai-doshin spirit.
(Gao Yan's Poem: What we have received are just these – Dedicated to our dearest mother on her Birthday and Mother’s Day)
Mother is a word that swirls in my heart, mind and throat
It ebbs and flows but could not burst forth
Keeping all desires and hopes in check
You are my constant companion and pillar
The deep and shallow of the past
Let’s keep them in the cloud of the word and amongst the images
It does not matter if they matter or not
Since we are mother and child
Our hearts will forever be united as one
Without waiting for a Thank You, tears already fill the eyes
As a facade for escape
I will keep your happiness in my mind and protect it
Not only happiness
Not only today
[Source: 和乐, SGI-Taiwan. 2014]
Translation Disclaimer: The original testimonial is in the Chinese Language. It has been translated to the English Language for our readers’ convenience. Reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate translation, however the editorial team acknowledged that the translation may not be perfect to the author’s original and seeks our readers understanding. Please note that all guidance and quotes are loosely translated.
(编辑注释: 以上是中英翻译,原版如下.)
堅強、勇敢的創價母親
引導自閉症孩子 展開潛能雙翼
唐雅婷
台灣
兒子高晏1歲多時,我感覺他在人際互動及生理發展上,比起同齡的孩子有很大落差。他的眼神不太與人對焦,也沒有牙牙學語的過程,於是我鼓起勇氣,帶他前往醫院進行相關評估及檢查。
兒子罹患自閉症 面臨巨大考驗
在他2歲8個月的時候,被判定為重度自閉症及多重障礙患者,目前已經13歲的他,仍然無法以口語溝通,而且大小動作協調性不佳,在生活上許多地方都需要協助。
7歲以前的兒子,是活在與我們隔離的痛苦世界裡。在確診之後,一家人都帶著向自閉症挑戰的心情,持續每日奮戰,除了不間斷進行各種復健治療之外,也嘗試中西醫藥物及針灸,還到處求神問卜。
孩子的心理與身體都非常敏感與痛苦,常持續幾個月夜哭,一哭就是兩、三個小時,甚至還對父母出現攻擊的行為。我們只能不斷地去猜測高晏的意思,也努力學習各種自閉症療法來教導他,但效果非常有限。
值遇妙法 成為勇敢堅強母親
2005年,女兒同學的媽媽向我介紹了妙法,鼓勵我唱題。加入創價後,學會員對我無私的幫助與引導,讓我感受到創價學會的溫暖與力量。在實踐信行學過程中,我了解到孩子不是我痛苦的根源,而是我前進的動力,正如御書云:「為父母也,為其子也,必是宿習焉。」2010年,在先生支持下,我敬領了御本尊,也接下了小組長等各項使命。漸漸地,我從一位悲觀、懦弱的媽媽,慢慢成長為正向、勇敢、有韌性的創價母親。
兒子不斷蛻變成長 發揮文字 潛能
我的改變也讓整個家庭改變,尤其是高晏的生命出現了轉機,湧現眾多的諸天善神來幫助我們。他在專業心理師引領下,嘗試用注音打字的方式與人溝通, 讓我們了解他的需求與想法,不再出現嚴重的情緒障礙。
高晏在小學二年級時,向我提出從特教班轉到普通班就讀的想法,希望與普通的孩子一起學習,這對他而言是非常大的挑戰,但我選擇無條件相信與支持高晏,決心與他共戰,所以從他小二開始,我當起一位陪讀媽媽。感謝創價學會一路的引導,經常在我經歷努力卻在瞬間破功時,依然能相信佛法所說的,一切會有轉變的可能性。
高晏是一個敏銳、有智慧的孩子,他透過文字帶領我們進入他,甚至那些跟他一樣有著外在障礙卻是內心世界豐富的孩了心中。他從小學二年級開始寫作,先生幫他在網路上架設一個部落格,高晏自己取名叫做《我和地球人相處的日子》,在部落格上分享他的心情與生活,得到許多網友的熱烈迴響。
孩子出版書籍 榮獲總統教育獎殊榮
從小學四年級開始連續三年,高晏榮獲文化部舉辦的「全國身心障礙文薈獎」優選,也是自文薈獎設立國小組以來,第一位連續三年得獎的參賽者。除了認真讀書、努力創作外,他也積極學習繪畫、音樂、游泳,還參加許多公益活動,把「為自閉症患者發聲」當作自己的使命。
2012年6月,拍攝高晏治療、學習及生活的記錄片在youtube上播出後,讓許多關心及不了解自閉症的人們非常感動。2013年2月,文經出版社主動幫他出版《我和地球人相處的曰子》這本書,裡面還有他費時半年才完成的小小自傳,希望讓社會大眾能了解像他一樣的孩子,也為他自己走入人群跨出了更大一步。
2013年,他獲選為桃園縣十大傑出身心障礙者。在今年更是經歷層層篩選,榮獲「總統教育獎」的殊榮。高晏心思細膩、懂得感恩,他常常透過文字告訴我們他的感謝與感動。從來沒有對我叫過一聲媽媽的他,卻在文章裡吶喊了千百回,不只讓我,也讓非常多為人母者熱淚盈眶。
懷抱對妙法感恩 決意全家為廣布奮鬥
今年母親節前高晏送給我,他與妹妹表達感恩之情的一首詩〈得到的 只是這些 -- 給媽媽的母親節與生日〉。沒錯,「不止今天」,孩子願意與我同心協力、 構築一個幸福安心的未來,我又何嘗敢言累、可以在此時鬆懈。雖然晏晏帶著小小的障礙來到我們的生命,來到這個令他困擾的世界,可是、這就是他大大的使命,是我們一家共戰的使命。我已在心中決意,要更加腳踏實地唱題與活動;不但自立自強、還要能鼓勵他人,培育未來部與青年部;兼顧家庭與學會活動,將高晏與妹妹苡琛培養成為創價廣宣流布的卓越人才;懷著對御本尊的報恩心,一家人異體同心、奔走在為佛法的廣布大道上。
〈得到的只是這些一給媽媽的母親節與生曰〉
媽媽二字 在我心中 腦中 喉中
盤旋 氤醞 蒸騰
卻無法衝出
減低一切的慾望與期待
您就這薩一直一直
在我身邊守候 相伴
淺淺的 深深的過往
就把它們放在
文字的雲端 圖像的搜尋裡
要或不要
都不重要
既然成為母子
就會一直 連心
不待說謝 涙已滿眶
只當有作假面的逃逸
我會一直在意您的快樂
護航您的快樂
不止祝福
不止今天
[和樂新闻 2014年6月号]