A Doctor who overcame Depression (从忧郁症中苏生的人医)
Dr Matsuzaki
Japan
Four years ago, Dr Matsuzaki, due to extreme stress from overwork, developed depression all of a sudden one day. Because of the support of the Soka comrades and the unity of his family, he transformed his karma into mission. His testimonial which was published in Seikyo Shimbun on 19 April, 2009, together with that of his wife Matsuzaki Etsuko and daughter Miss Matsuzaki, were translated, compiled and edited so that the readers got to read the inspiring testimonial of how the family challenged and won over their karma.
Dr Matsuzaki is currently the deputy director of the Ebihara Medical Center which is affiliated to the Medical Corporate Association in Miyazaki Prefecture, vice zone chief of the Miyazaki City Gakuen Zone as well as holding the post of general secretary of the medical department in Miyazaki Perfecture.
Sudden loss of the desire to work
Four years ago, the 50 year old Dr Matsuzaki was the assistant professor of the Medical department in the University of Miyazaki. Besides being responsible for the training of medical students, he was also a Thoracic surgeon, specializing in performing operations on patients suffering from lung cancer. His research papers were highly acclaimed by peer reviews and he was even invited to give speeches in overseas medical conferences in countries such as Czechoslovakia and Italy. He was bestowed the title of “The Doctors’ Choice” award for his excellent work. In the Great Hanshin-Kobe Earthquake in 1995, he was one of the first to join the Volunteer Medical Assistance Team in the rescue efforts.
On the other hand, as a member of Soka Gakkai Medical Group, he also conducted more than 500 talks related to healthy living for residents in the local area. More than 15 of his friends took faith because of his propagation efforts. In this way, Dr Matsuzaki continued to exert himself in Gakkai activities which he started since the days when he was a medical student.
He went all out in whatever he did, whether it be in the medical field or in faith, thus living a very meaningful and fruitful life. People around Dr Matsuzaki have high hopes on him but he was never conceited or complacent. In order to repay the expectations that others have on him, Dr Matsuzaki did his utmost every day. However, unknowingly, the fatigue accumulated from the more than two decades of efforts were slowly gnawing away his physical and emotional well-being.
On a certain day in December 2005, Dr Matsuzaki suddenly lost the passion and drive towards work and concentration, as if the source of electricity has been cut off from a robot. He developed symptoms such as numbness in his limbs, nausea and heart palpitation, had fainting spells when he stood up and insomnia.
This “super” doctor who has used his hands to save the lives of many lung cancer patients was alarmed and confused by these unusual ailments hitting him. Upon repeated checks, it was confirmed that stress caused his stomach to malfunction and bleed internally. Dr Matsuzaki has always been very confident in dealing with stress and pressure as he has always viewed stress as a driving force. So he was very taken aback by this diagnosis. However, as the symptoms did not seem to improve, he decided to consult a psychiatrist. He was diagnosed to be suffering from Burnout Syndrome, caused by severe stress. To put it simply, he was suffering from depression and had to take long term medical leave from work.
Uncontrollable Anxiety
Typically, the most crucial thing for a patient with mental illness to do is to follow the instructions of the doctor and undergo the necessary treatment and have sufficient rest. However, Dr Matsuzaki is a doctor himself. Due to his superior knowledge of medicine and his arrogance, he refused to face reality, thinking, “There is no reason why this can happen!”
Whenever he walked into the operating theatre, Dr Matsuzaki needed to focus for long hours at work, at times for as long as 7 to 8 hours at a stretch. Such major operations could occur up to 130 times in a year. “Thanks to Dr Matsuzaki, I can now live on!” It was such comments from patients in the last 2 decades which gave him meaning to live and work. “There are still many patients waiting for me, I must return to work as soon as possible…”
All these while, Dr Matsuzaki has survived on 2 to 3 hours of sleep per day as he was busy with his duties as a surgeon in the day and writing his theses and preparing teaching materials in the night. He usually dozed off in his sofa before rushing to work in the hospital the following morning. As a person who used to have a weak constitution, he attributed his ability to cope with such hectic lifestyle to the benefits of his faith.
Having to rest after leading such a busy life for a long time was unthinkable for Dr Matsuzaki. At a loss of what to do, he could only keep chanting to pray that he would regain his health as soon as possible.
However, waves after waves of self-blame churned inside his heart as he chanted, “Why haven’t I recovered? Why did I suffer from depression…?”
The more impatient he became, the stronger these voices of self-blame. Once, as if being summoned by a voice, he walked towards the balcony of his eighth floor apartment and wanted to bend over his body to jump off. But he was shaken by the sight of the great height between his apartment and the ground level. Dr Matsuzaki had Acrophobia (afraid of heights) and his legs instinctively moved backward. When he realized that he just had a close brush with death, tears well up in Dr Matsuzaki’s eyes. “How can I die just like this? For the sake of my wife, my daughter and my mother, I must not take my own life.”
After this incident, Dr Matsuzaki went in and out of the hospital countless times. After discharging from hospital, his days were spent either sleeping or doing nothing and he refused to meet anyone. Normally, others would view people like him as living a decadent life and stay away from him. But not the Soka comrades and his family members.
The senior members of the Soka Medical Group from Fukuoka Perfecture would visit him after a 6 hour journey. The most comforting of all were the words of “It’s alright, it’s alright.” of his wife Etsuko. Whenever he could not sleep in the middle of the night, Mrs Etsuko would stay by his side and chat with him until he dozed off. She also often chanted daimoku for him till dawn.
After recuperating for a year, the attending physician suggested a change in Dr Matsuzaki’s work environment. After an initial struggle, he finally made the decision to leave University of Miyazaki. While clearing his research laboratory, as he threw away the mountain of research papers, thesis and his students’ particulars into the rubbish bag, he could not help but let out a cry, “The hard work of the past 30 years have come to a naught!” Whenever he looked for new jobs, he was rejected on grounds that “we do not need a mental patient!”
At this time, the following encouragement of one senior of faith from the Soka Medical Group calmed and soothed his anxiety. “Dr Matsuzaki, you have to accept your current self. Do not be impatient and you should instead make effort to manifest the magnificent Buddhahood nature inherent in your life. As you know, your condition are changing every moment. This is but one episode of your life. Precisely because it is always changing, you will definitely recover without fail. Please enjoy and experience the real life drama of joys and sorrow to your hearts’ content and become the true physician of the Mystic Law who can pluck the roots of misery from the common people. I will also pray for you!”
At the same time, Dr Matsuzaki recalled the encouragement he received when he met his mentor of life SGI President Ikeda Sensei in USA while he was studying in Canada in 1991. He vowed to overcome his illness and served the sick again. As he persevered to look for jobs in accordance to his health condition, he finally found a hospital which valued his past contributions. The Chairperson of the Board of Hai Laoyuan hospital said the following at the interview, “You are the treasure of Miyazaki Perfecture, please be patient and use your talent accordingly to your health condition.”
In the summer of the third year since he first broke down, Dr Matsuzaki volunteered to be a dispatcher of Seikyo Shimbun, together with his best friend – his wife at the break of dawn. Although he has not fully recovered, mystically, not only did he not find the delivery of newspaper and collection of payment a strenuous task at all, he realized that this new rhythm of life suited him very well. His body began to undergo changes from this time on and he felt revitalized both physically and emotionally. It was as though he has just woken up from hibernation during winter, was full of vitality and felt as if he were reborn. Dr Matsuzaki has won over his illness at last!
After overcoming depression, Dr Matsuzaki was determined to make full use of this experience and create value out of it so that he can contribute to the wider community. Last year, he set up the Association for the Depression Sufferers in Miyazaki Perfecture. Besides, he was fully involved in the rescue efforts of the Amami floods as well as in the medical assistance efforts in the great earthquake which hit the North Eastern region this year.
In November last year, Dr Matsuzaki delivered a speech at a seminar on the treatment of Lung Cancer at the invitation of Fudan University. Fudan University is a renowned university in China which had bestowed an Honorary Doctorate to SGI President Ikeda Sensei previously. As he stood on the very same stage on which his mentor had delivered a speech 27 years ago, Dr Matsuzaki recalled his battle with depression and the numerous occasions when he received sincere encouragement from his mentor, “I am sending daimoku to you”. Tears flowed from his eyes as he thanked his mentor for his encouragement which enabled him to return to the stage of his mission. With deep emotion, he cried out in his heart, “Sensei, I have won!”
Dr Matsuzaki felt that he was very fortunate to be a Gakkai member and that he is the disciple of Ikeda Sensei. With a deep sense of gratitude, he resolved to continue to do his utmost for kosen-rufu and become a compassionate physician of the Mystic law who protects lives.
Miss Miyazaki: Every crisis is an Opportunity!”
His daughter Miss Matsuzaki, at grade 4, liked Peppa Pig very much and went to sleep with the Peppa Pig doll every night.
Last year, there was an outbreak of the Hand, Foot and Mouth disease in Miyazaki Perfecture. When she learnt from the news on TV that in order to stop the spread of the disease, all pigs and cows have to be culled, she was so heartbroken that tears flowed from her eyes. She immediately wrote letters to the piglets and calves which have turned into stars in the sky.
It happens that at this time, the newspaper carried an article which invited the public to participate in a song writing competition in Miyazaki Perfecture.
Miss Matsuzaki and her family turned the letters she has written to the piglets and calves into song lyrics, named it “Crisis is Opportunity” and sent it as entry to the competition. All the members of her family are Soka Gakkai members and “Crisis is Opportunity” is the mantra of the Matsuzaki family.
Miss Matsuzaki’s song won the competition and was made into a CD. After the CD went into circulation, “Elementary School Culture News” published the story of Miss Matsuzaki song writing experience. When Ikeda Sensei read the report, he praised Miss Matsuzaki that “This child has a beautiful heart!” Miss Matsuzaki was overjoyed by the compliment from Ikeda Sensei.
When the Hand, Foot and Mouth disease epidemic eased off, her maternal grandmother brought Miss Matsuzaki to the pig and cow farms. However, all she saw was deserted pig and cow pens, with white coloured powders of pesticides scattered around the surroundings. An aunt who was a pig farmer approached Miss Matsuzaki and hugged her saying with emotion, “Whenever we think of the pigs we reared in the past, it pains us but when we listen to your song, we feel invigorated again! Thank you so much, Miss Matsuzaki!”
Miss Matsuzaki felt very happy that she was able to help others. Her dream is to be able to study in Soka Unversity in USA one day. She is determined to study very hard and emulate the example of Ikeda Sensei who brings courage and vitality to others.
Matsuzaki Etsuko: “Never forget to be patient and faith!”
Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko’s life underwent a 180 degrees transformation after her husband was diagnosed with depression. She used to be a young Women Division member who could attend Gakkai activities without any worries. After her husband became ill, not only could she not attend activities but also that she could only go out of the house for a brief moment when she has confirmed that her husband slept after taking sleeping pills.
Although she has the conviction that her husband can fully recover, but as one, two and three years passed and seeing his condition deteriorating, the disquiet inside Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko’s heart grew to the point when she started to doubt, “Why is it that my husband suffers from such illness despite the fact that we have been fighting very hard?” It was as though she was trapped inside a long and dark tunnel.
Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko even had plans to sell off the house and she would work to support the family. At this time, she flipped open the daimoku chart book and chanced upon a Haiku poem which Ikeda Sensei wrote to her during her young women division days on the first page:
Never forget to be patient
And faith
Must strive and attain happiness
Pointing towards the treasure mountain of Victory
Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko renewed her understanding of the essence of faith and told herself, “I must be patient now, we can overcome this crisis only through faith. My husband’s illness must have a deep significance.”
In the midst of her earnest prayers, Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko realized that her husband’s illness is not his karma but her own karma; her husband is using this illness to teach her the essence of faith. Upon this realization, she felt a deep sense of appreciation towards her husband. With the support of her comrades, as a Women Division district leader, Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko fought with all her might without retreating a single step.
Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko prayed earnestly for her husband. When her daimoku reached 3 million, he successfully got a job. When her daimoku reached 4 million, Seikyo Shimbun published her husband’s testimony. Her happiest moment was when she was able to report her true proof of victory to Ikeda sensei.
Just as Dr Matsuzaki was battling with his illness, his daughter was studying in the kindergarten. Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko felt fortunate that her daughter was a very sensible child. Even though she could not spend sufficient time to take care of her, her daughter did not grumble at all. Apart from taking care of her husband, the only thing she persisted with was to read aloud story books to her daughter. She borrowed numerous good quality picture books from the library and read to her daughter every day. This developed her daughter’s interest in reading and in writing composition and letter writing. To Mr and Mrs Matsuzaki, the most important and the one which pleased them the most is that their daughter has grown into a child who is understanding towards others. Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko was also grateful to her parents who have been supporting her by the side.
As the disciples of Ikeda sensei, to be able to help others is the happiest and proudest thing of all. Filled with a deep sense of gratitude, Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko vowed that with an itai-doshin spirit, her family would fight for kosen-rufu with all their might!
[Cosmic Monthly March 2011]
Translation Disclaimer: The original testimonial is in the Chinese Language. It has been translated to the English Language for our readers’ convenience. Reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate translation, however the editorial team acknowledged that the translation may not be perfect to the author’s original and seeks our readers understanding. Please note that all guidance and quotes are loosely translated.
(编辑注释: 以上是中英翻译，原版如下.)
从忧郁症中苏生的人医
松崎泰宪
日本
松崎泰宪医生，四年前因过度的工作压力，一天突然患上忧郁症，凭借一家的团结及同志的支持转宿命为使命。现将刊登于2009年4月19日《圣教新闻》的松崎先生的体验，以及于今年7月在日本举行的新时代第50届本部干部会上，松崎先生与妻子松崎悦子女士和女儿松崎广美一同发表的体验翻译整理，让读者分享他们一家战胜宿命的体验。松崎泰宪先生现在于曰本
宫崎县医疗法人社团顺养院海老原医院任职副院长、宫崎县宫崎市学园支部担任副本部长、宫崎总县医学部书记。
突然失去工作意欲
四年前，50岁的松崎先牛担任宫崎大学医学部的副教授，除了担任医科学生的教育工作外，还是胸肺科的外科医生，专门为肺癌病人动手术，研究论文也受到高度评价，更获捷克和意大利等国家邀请到海外作特别演讲，也获选为“医生所选的医生”。在1995年发生阪神大地震时，他率先加人志愿医疗援助队协助救援。
另一方面，身为创价学会医学部成员，他也为当地市民主持超过五百次健康讲座，折伏了逾十五名朋友，努力实践从医学生时代开始的信仰活动。
他无论在医学的道路或信仰的道路上也全情投人，过得非常充实而有意义。周围的人对松崎先生的前途也寄予厚望，但是松崎先生并不骄傲自满，为了回报大家的期待，他每一天也一心一意地努力奋斗。孰不知二十多年来累积的疲劳已一步一步侵蚀他的身心。
2005年12月某天，松崎先生突然失去了平日旺盛的工作意欲和集中力，就如切断了电源的机械人一样，而且出现了手脚麻痹、呕吐、心悸、站起来眩晕、失眠等症状。
一直以来用自己双手救活了许多肺癌病人的超级医生，对自己突如其来的异状惊惶失措。经过再三检查，确定是压力导致胃功能紊乱而出现内出血。一向自信能调控压力、将压力化为动力的松崎先生为这诊断深感意外。但由于症状得不到改善，松崎先生果断地转看精神科，被诊断患上因髙度压力导致的倦怠症（Burnout Syndrome），简单来说就是忧郁症，迫不得已要长期休奍。
无法抑制的焦虑
一般来说，精神病患最重要就是遵照医生指示作适当的治疗和充足的休养。然而松崎先生本身就是医生，凌驾一般人的医学知识和自负使他拒绝接受现实：“没理由会这样！”
每当走进手术室，就要长时间专注于工作，有时甚至要动上七至八个小时的手术。这样的大手术每年多达130次。“全赖松崎医生，我才能活下来！”—二十年来病人的这些话，让松崎先生确切地感受到生存和工作的意义。“现在仍有病人在等着我，我定要尽早恢复丁作……”
一直以来，每天只有两三小时的睡眠时间，日间忙于为病人动手术，深夜回家后埋首写论文和准备教材，之后就在沙发假寐到清晨又赶回医院。对于从前体弱多病的松崎先生来说，能够熬过这种极度忙碌的生活，实感到信仰的功德。
习惯忙碌却突然想休养，实际上要如何休养？松埼先生着实摸不着头脑，唯有不断唱题祈求尽早康复。
可是，责备自己的一念如震涛骇浪在心中翻滚：“为什么还未能康复？为什么会忠上优郁症……”
越是焦躁，自责的声音就越强越大。有一次好像被一道声音叫唤，住在八楼的松崎先生走到阳台去，探出身子欲要往下跳，但一看到和地面有几十米高的距离，他心头猛地一震。松崎先生有畏高症，双脚自然地往后退。惊觉到自己死里逃生的松埼先牛眼泪夺眶而出，“怎么可以就此死去！”为了妻子、为了女儿、为了母亲，绝不可以轻生。
之后松崎先生不断进出医院。出院后，反复过着不是睡觉就是无所事事、不想见人的日子。一般人或许会觉得他人过颓废，敬而远之。但是家人和创价学会的同志就完全不一样。
有学会的医学部前辈远从福冈花上六个小吋前来探塱松崎先生。而最令松崎先生安心的就是夫人悦子女士“没事的，没事的”的声音！夜深，每当松崎先生无法静入睡的时候，悦子女士会一直伴他交谈直到他能安然入睡，还常常为丈夫唱题直至天亮。
休息了一年之后，主诊医生建议松崎先生转换工作环境。尽管为此事非常烦恼，松崎先生仍然决心辞职离力大学。为了清理研究室，松崎先生将堆积如山的研究论文和教授学生的资料掉逬垃圾胶袋，他忍不住放声大哭：“这三十年来的辛劳，竟就这祥化成泡影？”之后即使重新求职，但每次都遭到拒绝，理由是“我们不需要病人！”
此时一位医学部前辈的鼓励抚平了松崎先生焦躁不安的心。“松崎医生，你要接纳现在的自己。绝不可以焦急，要努力去显现蕴藏在自己生命中了不起的佛界。你也知道病状时时刻刻都在变化，这不过是生命的一个片段而巳。就是因为在变化，所以一定能够好起来。请你尽情体会喜怒哀乐这祌有血有肉的人的现实，成为拔苦与乐的‘妙法良医’。我也会为你祈求！”
同时松埼先生想起在加拿大留学的1991年，于美国与人生师匠池田SGI会长邂逅时获得的豉励，他发誓要战胜病魔，再次为病人服务。
在不气馁地桉照自己的状况继续寻找工作当中，松崎先生终于找到一所赏识他以往贡献的医院。海老原医院的海老原为博董事长（兼院长）聘请松崎先生时说：“你是我们宫崎之宝，请不要焦急，按照你的身体状况在我们的医院发挥吧！”
发病笫三年的夏天，松崎先生自发当《圣教新闻》的派报员，与“无冕之友”的前辈—太太一起，在天蒙蒙时开始派发报纸。虽然松崎先生还末完全康复，但是很不可思议，竟然对派报和收款毫不感到辛苦，反而觉得这种生活节奏很适合自己。松崎先生的身体就在这时候开始出现变化，半年后突然觉得身心舒畅，就像从冬眠中醒来一样，全身充满活力，仿如脱胎换骨，松崎先生最终战胜了病魔！
跨越忧郁症的松崎先生，决心要活用这次体验，从中创造价值，为社会作出贡献，于去年成立了宫崎首个“忧郁症患者联会”。去年，又全力参与奄美豪雨等救灾活动，今年见到发生大地震的东北参与医疗援助。
去年11月，松崎先生应复旦大学之邀，就肺癌的研究进行演讲。复旦大学时中国的著名学府，曾颁授名誉教授给池田SGI会长。当站在师匠27年前演讲过的讲台时，松崎先生想起自已在与优郁症傅斗的过程中多次接到师匠的真心鼓励：“我在为你唱送题目。”松崎先生热泪盈眍，感谢师匠的鼓励，让自己可以返回使命的舞台，激动得在心中呼叫：“先生，我胜利了！”
松崎先生衷心庆幸自己是学会会员、庆幸自已是池田先生的弟子，满心感激！他决意今后也继续为广宜流布全力奋斗，成长为一位充满慈爱、捍卫生命的妙法良医！
＊＊＊
松崎广美小姐：“危机就是生机！ ”
女儿松埼广美，就读小学四年级“十分喜欢小猪，每晚都与“小猪布娃娃” 一起入睡。
去年宫崎县接发生了口蹄疫。广美在电视上看到为了制止疫情扩大，所要猪只和牛只均须屠宰，她非常伤心，哭得眼泪直流。广美立即写信给已经化为天上星星的猪猪和牛牛。
刚好在那时候，报纸刊登了募集支持宫崎县的歌曲创作活动。
广美和家人将写给猪猪、牛牛的信改编成歌曲，名为“危机就是生机”，参加活动。广美全家都是学会员，“危机就是生机”是松崎家的口头禅。
广美的歌被选中了，并制作成CD。CD发行后《小学生文化新闻》刊登了广美的创作故事。池田先生看了这篇报道，称赞广美说：“这位小刖友拥有一颗美丽的心！ ”池田先生的赞美让广美开心不已。
口蹄疫告一段落后，外祖母带广美去看养牛场、养猪场，但是见到的只是空荡荡的牛棚和猪棚，四周全部洒满白色的消毒药粉。那时候有一位养猪的婶婶走过来抱着广美激动地对她说：“毎次想起以前所养的猪只都十分痛心，可是听到广美的歌，我们又再精神起来了。谢谢你，广美!”
能够帮助他人，广美感到很高兴。梦想将来到美国创价大学读书的广美，决心努力学习，希销可以成为像池田先生一样，为他人赠送勇气和朝气的人。
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松崎悦子女士：“勿忘忍耐与信心！”
松崎悦子女士在丈夫患上忧郁症后，生活起了一百八十度的变化。丈夫发病前，悦子女士仍是无忧无虑地参加学会活动的青妇，自从丈夫发病后，别说参加学会活动，就连外出一会儿，也得要等丈夫吃过安眠药，确认丈夫睡着后方可出门。
虽然确信丈夫一定能够痊愈，但是当过了两年、三年，丈夫的状况每况愈下，悦子女士心中的不安就不断膨胀，甚至产生疑问：“我们那么努力奋斗，为何丈夫会患上这样的病？为什么？”就好像置身于一条漫长而黑暗的隧道一样。
悦了女士甚至盘算把房了卖掉，自己出来工作养家。就在那时候，悦子女士翻开唱题存摺簿，看见第一贞上写着女了部时期池田先生赠给自己的和歌：
勿忘忍耐与
信心二字
要赢取幸福
指向胜利宝山
悦子女士重新领会信心的真谛，并对自己说：“现在一定要忍耐，唯有靠信心来跨越。丈夫的病一定有深远的意义。”
在努力祈求当中，悦了女士意识到丈夫病并非丈夫的宿业，而是自己本身的宿业，丈夫是借患病来教导她信心的要谛。当悦子女士领悟到这道理时，自然地产生对丈夫的感谢之心。得到学会同志的支持，身为地区妇人部的悦子女士，一步不退缩地彻底奋斗。
悦子女士认真为丈夫祈求，在喝题达到300万遍的那一天，文夫找到了工作。当唱题积到400万遍时，《圣教新闻》就刊登了丈夫的体验。悦子女士感到最高兴的就是，能够赢取实证向池田先生报告胜利。
在松崎先生与病魔博斗的时候，女儿广美刚好读幼儿园。悦子女士很庆幸女儿十分僅事，虽然她无法腾出充分的时间好好照顾女儿，但女儿一点怨言也没有。在全心照顾丈夫之余，悦了女士唯独坚持给女儿朗读故事书。她到图书馆借很多优良的图书，每天讲给女儿听，形成了女儿很喜欢看书，也培养了作文和写信的兴趣。而对松崎夫妇来说，最重要、最让他们欣慰的是女儿能成长为一个懂得体谅别人的孩子。同时悦子女士很感激一直以來在身边支持她的父母亲。
身为池田先生的弟子，一家人都能够为他人尽力，这是最值得自豪和高兴的事。悦子女士满怀感谢，决意今后家人也会好异体同心，为了广宣流布更尽全力奋斗到底！
［宇宙月刊 2011年3月］
Dr Matsuzaki
Japan
Four years ago, Dr Matsuzaki, due to extreme stress from overwork, developed depression all of a sudden one day. Because of the support of the Soka comrades and the unity of his family, he transformed his karma into mission. His testimonial which was published in Seikyo Shimbun on 19 April, 2009, together with that of his wife Matsuzaki Etsuko and daughter Miss Matsuzaki, were translated, compiled and edited so that the readers got to read the inspiring testimonial of how the family challenged and won over their karma.
Dr Matsuzaki is currently the deputy director of the Ebihara Medical Center which is affiliated to the Medical Corporate Association in Miyazaki Prefecture, vice zone chief of the Miyazaki City Gakuen Zone as well as holding the post of general secretary of the medical department in Miyazaki Perfecture.
Sudden loss of the desire to work
Four years ago, the 50 year old Dr Matsuzaki was the assistant professor of the Medical department in the University of Miyazaki. Besides being responsible for the training of medical students, he was also a Thoracic surgeon, specializing in performing operations on patients suffering from lung cancer. His research papers were highly acclaimed by peer reviews and he was even invited to give speeches in overseas medical conferences in countries such as Czechoslovakia and Italy. He was bestowed the title of “The Doctors’ Choice” award for his excellent work. In the Great Hanshin-Kobe Earthquake in 1995, he was one of the first to join the Volunteer Medical Assistance Team in the rescue efforts.
On the other hand, as a member of Soka Gakkai Medical Group, he also conducted more than 500 talks related to healthy living for residents in the local area. More than 15 of his friends took faith because of his propagation efforts. In this way, Dr Matsuzaki continued to exert himself in Gakkai activities which he started since the days when he was a medical student.
He went all out in whatever he did, whether it be in the medical field or in faith, thus living a very meaningful and fruitful life. People around Dr Matsuzaki have high hopes on him but he was never conceited or complacent. In order to repay the expectations that others have on him, Dr Matsuzaki did his utmost every day. However, unknowingly, the fatigue accumulated from the more than two decades of efforts were slowly gnawing away his physical and emotional well-being.
On a certain day in December 2005, Dr Matsuzaki suddenly lost the passion and drive towards work and concentration, as if the source of electricity has been cut off from a robot. He developed symptoms such as numbness in his limbs, nausea and heart palpitation, had fainting spells when he stood up and insomnia.
This “super” doctor who has used his hands to save the lives of many lung cancer patients was alarmed and confused by these unusual ailments hitting him. Upon repeated checks, it was confirmed that stress caused his stomach to malfunction and bleed internally. Dr Matsuzaki has always been very confident in dealing with stress and pressure as he has always viewed stress as a driving force. So he was very taken aback by this diagnosis. However, as the symptoms did not seem to improve, he decided to consult a psychiatrist. He was diagnosed to be suffering from Burnout Syndrome, caused by severe stress. To put it simply, he was suffering from depression and had to take long term medical leave from work.
Uncontrollable Anxiety
Typically, the most crucial thing for a patient with mental illness to do is to follow the instructions of the doctor and undergo the necessary treatment and have sufficient rest. However, Dr Matsuzaki is a doctor himself. Due to his superior knowledge of medicine and his arrogance, he refused to face reality, thinking, “There is no reason why this can happen!”
Whenever he walked into the operating theatre, Dr Matsuzaki needed to focus for long hours at work, at times for as long as 7 to 8 hours at a stretch. Such major operations could occur up to 130 times in a year. “Thanks to Dr Matsuzaki, I can now live on!” It was such comments from patients in the last 2 decades which gave him meaning to live and work. “There are still many patients waiting for me, I must return to work as soon as possible…”
All these while, Dr Matsuzaki has survived on 2 to 3 hours of sleep per day as he was busy with his duties as a surgeon in the day and writing his theses and preparing teaching materials in the night. He usually dozed off in his sofa before rushing to work in the hospital the following morning. As a person who used to have a weak constitution, he attributed his ability to cope with such hectic lifestyle to the benefits of his faith.
Having to rest after leading such a busy life for a long time was unthinkable for Dr Matsuzaki. At a loss of what to do, he could only keep chanting to pray that he would regain his health as soon as possible.
However, waves after waves of self-blame churned inside his heart as he chanted, “Why haven’t I recovered? Why did I suffer from depression…?”
The more impatient he became, the stronger these voices of self-blame. Once, as if being summoned by a voice, he walked towards the balcony of his eighth floor apartment and wanted to bend over his body to jump off. But he was shaken by the sight of the great height between his apartment and the ground level. Dr Matsuzaki had Acrophobia (afraid of heights) and his legs instinctively moved backward. When he realized that he just had a close brush with death, tears well up in Dr Matsuzaki’s eyes. “How can I die just like this? For the sake of my wife, my daughter and my mother, I must not take my own life.”
After this incident, Dr Matsuzaki went in and out of the hospital countless times. After discharging from hospital, his days were spent either sleeping or doing nothing and he refused to meet anyone. Normally, others would view people like him as living a decadent life and stay away from him. But not the Soka comrades and his family members.
The senior members of the Soka Medical Group from Fukuoka Perfecture would visit him after a 6 hour journey. The most comforting of all were the words of “It’s alright, it’s alright.” of his wife Etsuko. Whenever he could not sleep in the middle of the night, Mrs Etsuko would stay by his side and chat with him until he dozed off. She also often chanted daimoku for him till dawn.
After recuperating for a year, the attending physician suggested a change in Dr Matsuzaki’s work environment. After an initial struggle, he finally made the decision to leave University of Miyazaki. While clearing his research laboratory, as he threw away the mountain of research papers, thesis and his students’ particulars into the rubbish bag, he could not help but let out a cry, “The hard work of the past 30 years have come to a naught!” Whenever he looked for new jobs, he was rejected on grounds that “we do not need a mental patient!”
At this time, the following encouragement of one senior of faith from the Soka Medical Group calmed and soothed his anxiety. “Dr Matsuzaki, you have to accept your current self. Do not be impatient and you should instead make effort to manifest the magnificent Buddhahood nature inherent in your life. As you know, your condition are changing every moment. This is but one episode of your life. Precisely because it is always changing, you will definitely recover without fail. Please enjoy and experience the real life drama of joys and sorrow to your hearts’ content and become the true physician of the Mystic Law who can pluck the roots of misery from the common people. I will also pray for you!”
At the same time, Dr Matsuzaki recalled the encouragement he received when he met his mentor of life SGI President Ikeda Sensei in USA while he was studying in Canada in 1991. He vowed to overcome his illness and served the sick again. As he persevered to look for jobs in accordance to his health condition, he finally found a hospital which valued his past contributions. The Chairperson of the Board of Hai Laoyuan hospital said the following at the interview, “You are the treasure of Miyazaki Perfecture, please be patient and use your talent accordingly to your health condition.”
In the summer of the third year since he first broke down, Dr Matsuzaki volunteered to be a dispatcher of Seikyo Shimbun, together with his best friend – his wife at the break of dawn. Although he has not fully recovered, mystically, not only did he not find the delivery of newspaper and collection of payment a strenuous task at all, he realized that this new rhythm of life suited him very well. His body began to undergo changes from this time on and he felt revitalized both physically and emotionally. It was as though he has just woken up from hibernation during winter, was full of vitality and felt as if he were reborn. Dr Matsuzaki has won over his illness at last!
After overcoming depression, Dr Matsuzaki was determined to make full use of this experience and create value out of it so that he can contribute to the wider community. Last year, he set up the Association for the Depression Sufferers in Miyazaki Perfecture. Besides, he was fully involved in the rescue efforts of the Amami floods as well as in the medical assistance efforts in the great earthquake which hit the North Eastern region this year.
In November last year, Dr Matsuzaki delivered a speech at a seminar on the treatment of Lung Cancer at the invitation of Fudan University. Fudan University is a renowned university in China which had bestowed an Honorary Doctorate to SGI President Ikeda Sensei previously. As he stood on the very same stage on which his mentor had delivered a speech 27 years ago, Dr Matsuzaki recalled his battle with depression and the numerous occasions when he received sincere encouragement from his mentor, “I am sending daimoku to you”. Tears flowed from his eyes as he thanked his mentor for his encouragement which enabled him to return to the stage of his mission. With deep emotion, he cried out in his heart, “Sensei, I have won!”
Dr Matsuzaki felt that he was very fortunate to be a Gakkai member and that he is the disciple of Ikeda Sensei. With a deep sense of gratitude, he resolved to continue to do his utmost for kosen-rufu and become a compassionate physician of the Mystic law who protects lives.
Miss Miyazaki: Every crisis is an Opportunity!”
His daughter Miss Matsuzaki, at grade 4, liked Peppa Pig very much and went to sleep with the Peppa Pig doll every night.
Last year, there was an outbreak of the Hand, Foot and Mouth disease in Miyazaki Perfecture. When she learnt from the news on TV that in order to stop the spread of the disease, all pigs and cows have to be culled, she was so heartbroken that tears flowed from her eyes. She immediately wrote letters to the piglets and calves which have turned into stars in the sky.
It happens that at this time, the newspaper carried an article which invited the public to participate in a song writing competition in Miyazaki Perfecture.
Miss Matsuzaki and her family turned the letters she has written to the piglets and calves into song lyrics, named it “Crisis is Opportunity” and sent it as entry to the competition. All the members of her family are Soka Gakkai members and “Crisis is Opportunity” is the mantra of the Matsuzaki family.
Miss Matsuzaki’s song won the competition and was made into a CD. After the CD went into circulation, “Elementary School Culture News” published the story of Miss Matsuzaki song writing experience. When Ikeda Sensei read the report, he praised Miss Matsuzaki that “This child has a beautiful heart!” Miss Matsuzaki was overjoyed by the compliment from Ikeda Sensei.
When the Hand, Foot and Mouth disease epidemic eased off, her maternal grandmother brought Miss Matsuzaki to the pig and cow farms. However, all she saw was deserted pig and cow pens, with white coloured powders of pesticides scattered around the surroundings. An aunt who was a pig farmer approached Miss Matsuzaki and hugged her saying with emotion, “Whenever we think of the pigs we reared in the past, it pains us but when we listen to your song, we feel invigorated again! Thank you so much, Miss Matsuzaki!”
Miss Matsuzaki felt very happy that she was able to help others. Her dream is to be able to study in Soka Unversity in USA one day. She is determined to study very hard and emulate the example of Ikeda Sensei who brings courage and vitality to others.
Matsuzaki Etsuko: “Never forget to be patient and faith!”
Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko’s life underwent a 180 degrees transformation after her husband was diagnosed with depression. She used to be a young Women Division member who could attend Gakkai activities without any worries. After her husband became ill, not only could she not attend activities but also that she could only go out of the house for a brief moment when she has confirmed that her husband slept after taking sleeping pills.
Although she has the conviction that her husband can fully recover, but as one, two and three years passed and seeing his condition deteriorating, the disquiet inside Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko’s heart grew to the point when she started to doubt, “Why is it that my husband suffers from such illness despite the fact that we have been fighting very hard?” It was as though she was trapped inside a long and dark tunnel.
Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko even had plans to sell off the house and she would work to support the family. At this time, she flipped open the daimoku chart book and chanced upon a Haiku poem which Ikeda Sensei wrote to her during her young women division days on the first page:
Never forget to be patient
And faith
Must strive and attain happiness
Pointing towards the treasure mountain of Victory
Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko renewed her understanding of the essence of faith and told herself, “I must be patient now, we can overcome this crisis only through faith. My husband’s illness must have a deep significance.”
In the midst of her earnest prayers, Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko realized that her husband’s illness is not his karma but her own karma; her husband is using this illness to teach her the essence of faith. Upon this realization, she felt a deep sense of appreciation towards her husband. With the support of her comrades, as a Women Division district leader, Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko fought with all her might without retreating a single step.
Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko prayed earnestly for her husband. When her daimoku reached 3 million, he successfully got a job. When her daimoku reached 4 million, Seikyo Shimbun published her husband’s testimony. Her happiest moment was when she was able to report her true proof of victory to Ikeda sensei.
Just as Dr Matsuzaki was battling with his illness, his daughter was studying in the kindergarten. Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko felt fortunate that her daughter was a very sensible child. Even though she could not spend sufficient time to take care of her, her daughter did not grumble at all. Apart from taking care of her husband, the only thing she persisted with was to read aloud story books to her daughter. She borrowed numerous good quality picture books from the library and read to her daughter every day. This developed her daughter’s interest in reading and in writing composition and letter writing. To Mr and Mrs Matsuzaki, the most important and the one which pleased them the most is that their daughter has grown into a child who is understanding towards others. Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko was also grateful to her parents who have been supporting her by the side.
As the disciples of Ikeda sensei, to be able to help others is the happiest and proudest thing of all. Filled with a deep sense of gratitude, Mrs Matsuzaki Etsuko vowed that with an itai-doshin spirit, her family would fight for kosen-rufu with all their might!
[Cosmic Monthly March 2011]
Translation Disclaimer: The original testimonial is in the Chinese Language. It has been translated to the English Language for our readers’ convenience. Reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate translation, however the editorial team acknowledged that the translation may not be perfect to the author’s original and seeks our readers understanding. Please note that all guidance and quotes are loosely translated.
(编辑注释: 以上是中英翻译，原版如下.)
从忧郁症中苏生的人医
松崎泰宪
日本
松崎泰宪医生，四年前因过度的工作压力，一天突然患上忧郁症，凭借一家的团结及同志的支持转宿命为使命。现将刊登于2009年4月19日《圣教新闻》的松崎先生的体验，以及于今年7月在日本举行的新时代第50届本部干部会上，松崎先生与妻子松崎悦子女士和女儿松崎广美一同发表的体验翻译整理，让读者分享他们一家战胜宿命的体验。松崎泰宪先生现在于曰本
宫崎县医疗法人社团顺养院海老原医院任职副院长、宫崎县宫崎市学园支部担任副本部长、宫崎总县医学部书记。
突然失去工作意欲
四年前，50岁的松崎先牛担任宫崎大学医学部的副教授，除了担任医科学生的教育工作外，还是胸肺科的外科医生，专门为肺癌病人动手术，研究论文也受到高度评价，更获捷克和意大利等国家邀请到海外作特别演讲，也获选为“医生所选的医生”。在1995年发生阪神大地震时，他率先加人志愿医疗援助队协助救援。
另一方面，身为创价学会医学部成员，他也为当地市民主持超过五百次健康讲座，折伏了逾十五名朋友，努力实践从医学生时代开始的信仰活动。
他无论在医学的道路或信仰的道路上也全情投人，过得非常充实而有意义。周围的人对松崎先生的前途也寄予厚望，但是松崎先生并不骄傲自满，为了回报大家的期待，他每一天也一心一意地努力奋斗。孰不知二十多年来累积的疲劳已一步一步侵蚀他的身心。
2005年12月某天，松崎先生突然失去了平日旺盛的工作意欲和集中力，就如切断了电源的机械人一样，而且出现了手脚麻痹、呕吐、心悸、站起来眩晕、失眠等症状。
一直以来用自己双手救活了许多肺癌病人的超级医生，对自己突如其来的异状惊惶失措。经过再三检查，确定是压力导致胃功能紊乱而出现内出血。一向自信能调控压力、将压力化为动力的松崎先生为这诊断深感意外。但由于症状得不到改善，松崎先生果断地转看精神科，被诊断患上因髙度压力导致的倦怠症（Burnout Syndrome），简单来说就是忧郁症，迫不得已要长期休奍。
无法抑制的焦虑
一般来说，精神病患最重要就是遵照医生指示作适当的治疗和充足的休养。然而松崎先生本身就是医生，凌驾一般人的医学知识和自负使他拒绝接受现实：“没理由会这样！”
每当走进手术室，就要长时间专注于工作，有时甚至要动上七至八个小时的手术。这样的大手术每年多达130次。“全赖松崎医生，我才能活下来！”—二十年来病人的这些话，让松崎先生确切地感受到生存和工作的意义。“现在仍有病人在等着我，我定要尽早恢复丁作……”
一直以来，每天只有两三小时的睡眠时间，日间忙于为病人动手术，深夜回家后埋首写论文和准备教材，之后就在沙发假寐到清晨又赶回医院。对于从前体弱多病的松崎先生来说，能够熬过这种极度忙碌的生活，实感到信仰的功德。
习惯忙碌却突然想休养，实际上要如何休养？松埼先生着实摸不着头脑，唯有不断唱题祈求尽早康复。
可是，责备自己的一念如震涛骇浪在心中翻滚：“为什么还未能康复？为什么会忠上优郁症……”
越是焦躁，自责的声音就越强越大。有一次好像被一道声音叫唤，住在八楼的松崎先生走到阳台去，探出身子欲要往下跳，但一看到和地面有几十米高的距离，他心头猛地一震。松崎先生有畏高症，双脚自然地往后退。惊觉到自己死里逃生的松埼先牛眼泪夺眶而出，“怎么可以就此死去！”为了妻子、为了女儿、为了母亲，绝不可以轻生。
之后松崎先生不断进出医院。出院后，反复过着不是睡觉就是无所事事、不想见人的日子。一般人或许会觉得他人过颓废，敬而远之。但是家人和创价学会的同志就完全不一样。
有学会的医学部前辈远从福冈花上六个小吋前来探塱松崎先生。而最令松崎先生安心的就是夫人悦子女士“没事的，没事的”的声音！夜深，每当松崎先生无法静入睡的时候，悦子女士会一直伴他交谈直到他能安然入睡，还常常为丈夫唱题直至天亮。
休息了一年之后，主诊医生建议松崎先生转换工作环境。尽管为此事非常烦恼，松崎先生仍然决心辞职离力大学。为了清理研究室，松崎先生将堆积如山的研究论文和教授学生的资料掉逬垃圾胶袋，他忍不住放声大哭：“这三十年来的辛劳，竟就这祥化成泡影？”之后即使重新求职，但每次都遭到拒绝，理由是“我们不需要病人！”
此时一位医学部前辈的鼓励抚平了松崎先生焦躁不安的心。“松崎医生，你要接纳现在的自己。绝不可以焦急，要努力去显现蕴藏在自己生命中了不起的佛界。你也知道病状时时刻刻都在变化，这不过是生命的一个片段而巳。就是因为在变化，所以一定能够好起来。请你尽情体会喜怒哀乐这祌有血有肉的人的现实，成为拔苦与乐的‘妙法良医’。我也会为你祈求！”
同时松埼先生想起在加拿大留学的1991年，于美国与人生师匠池田SGI会长邂逅时获得的豉励，他发誓要战胜病魔，再次为病人服务。
在不气馁地桉照自己的状况继续寻找工作当中，松崎先生终于找到一所赏识他以往贡献的医院。海老原医院的海老原为博董事长（兼院长）聘请松崎先生时说：“你是我们宫崎之宝，请不要焦急，按照你的身体状况在我们的医院发挥吧！”
发病笫三年的夏天，松崎先生自发当《圣教新闻》的派报员，与“无冕之友”的前辈—太太一起，在天蒙蒙时开始派发报纸。虽然松崎先生还末完全康复，但是很不可思议，竟然对派报和收款毫不感到辛苦，反而觉得这种生活节奏很适合自己。松崎先生的身体就在这时候开始出现变化，半年后突然觉得身心舒畅，就像从冬眠中醒来一样，全身充满活力，仿如脱胎换骨，松崎先生最终战胜了病魔！
跨越忧郁症的松崎先生，决心要活用这次体验，从中创造价值，为社会作出贡献，于去年成立了宫崎首个“忧郁症患者联会”。去年，又全力参与奄美豪雨等救灾活动，今年见到发生大地震的东北参与医疗援助。
去年11月，松崎先生应复旦大学之邀，就肺癌的研究进行演讲。复旦大学时中国的著名学府，曾颁授名誉教授给池田SGI会长。当站在师匠27年前演讲过的讲台时，松崎先生想起自已在与优郁症傅斗的过程中多次接到师匠的真心鼓励：“我在为你唱送题目。”松崎先生热泪盈眍，感谢师匠的鼓励，让自己可以返回使命的舞台，激动得在心中呼叫：“先生，我胜利了！”
松崎先生衷心庆幸自己是学会会员、庆幸自已是池田先生的弟子，满心感激！他决意今后也继续为广宜流布全力奋斗，成长为一位充满慈爱、捍卫生命的妙法良医！
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松崎广美小姐：“危机就是生机！ ”
女儿松埼广美，就读小学四年级“十分喜欢小猪，每晚都与“小猪布娃娃” 一起入睡。
去年宫崎县接发生了口蹄疫。广美在电视上看到为了制止疫情扩大，所要猪只和牛只均须屠宰，她非常伤心，哭得眼泪直流。广美立即写信给已经化为天上星星的猪猪和牛牛。
刚好在那时候，报纸刊登了募集支持宫崎县的歌曲创作活动。
广美和家人将写给猪猪、牛牛的信改编成歌曲，名为“危机就是生机”，参加活动。广美全家都是学会员，“危机就是生机”是松崎家的口头禅。
广美的歌被选中了，并制作成CD。CD发行后《小学生文化新闻》刊登了广美的创作故事。池田先生看了这篇报道，称赞广美说：“这位小刖友拥有一颗美丽的心！ ”池田先生的赞美让广美开心不已。
口蹄疫告一段落后，外祖母带广美去看养牛场、养猪场，但是见到的只是空荡荡的牛棚和猪棚，四周全部洒满白色的消毒药粉。那时候有一位养猪的婶婶走过来抱着广美激动地对她说：“毎次想起以前所养的猪只都十分痛心，可是听到广美的歌，我们又再精神起来了。谢谢你，广美!”
能够帮助他人，广美感到很高兴。梦想将来到美国创价大学读书的广美，决心努力学习，希销可以成为像池田先生一样，为他人赠送勇气和朝气的人。
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松崎悦子女士：“勿忘忍耐与信心！”
松崎悦子女士在丈夫患上忧郁症后，生活起了一百八十度的变化。丈夫发病前，悦子女士仍是无忧无虑地参加学会活动的青妇，自从丈夫发病后，别说参加学会活动，就连外出一会儿，也得要等丈夫吃过安眠药，确认丈夫睡着后方可出门。
虽然确信丈夫一定能够痊愈，但是当过了两年、三年，丈夫的状况每况愈下，悦子女士心中的不安就不断膨胀，甚至产生疑问：“我们那么努力奋斗，为何丈夫会患上这样的病？为什么？”就好像置身于一条漫长而黑暗的隧道一样。
悦了女士甚至盘算把房了卖掉，自己出来工作养家。就在那时候，悦子女士翻开唱题存摺簿，看见第一贞上写着女了部时期池田先生赠给自己的和歌：
勿忘忍耐与
信心二字
要赢取幸福
指向胜利宝山
悦子女士重新领会信心的真谛，并对自己说：“现在一定要忍耐，唯有靠信心来跨越。丈夫的病一定有深远的意义。”
在努力祈求当中，悦了女士意识到丈夫病并非丈夫的宿业，而是自己本身的宿业，丈夫是借患病来教导她信心的要谛。当悦子女士领悟到这道理时，自然地产生对丈夫的感谢之心。得到学会同志的支持，身为地区妇人部的悦子女士，一步不退缩地彻底奋斗。
悦子女士认真为丈夫祈求，在喝题达到300万遍的那一天，文夫找到了工作。当唱题积到400万遍时，《圣教新闻》就刊登了丈夫的体验。悦子女士感到最高兴的就是，能够赢取实证向池田先生报告胜利。
在松崎先生与病魔博斗的时候，女儿广美刚好读幼儿园。悦子女士很庆幸女儿十分僅事，虽然她无法腾出充分的时间好好照顾女儿，但女儿一点怨言也没有。在全心照顾丈夫之余，悦了女士唯独坚持给女儿朗读故事书。她到图书馆借很多优良的图书，每天讲给女儿听，形成了女儿很喜欢看书，也培养了作文和写信的兴趣。而对松崎夫妇来说，最重要、最让他们欣慰的是女儿能成长为一个懂得体谅别人的孩子。同时悦子女士很感激一直以來在身边支持她的父母亲。
身为池田先生的弟子，一家人都能够为他人尽力，这是最值得自豪和高兴的事。悦子女士满怀感谢，决意今后家人也会好异体同心，为了广宣流布更尽全力奋斗到底！
［宇宙月刊 2011年3月］