Everything starts from Prayer!
Chen Wan Ling
Selangor, Malaysia
I joined Soka Gakkai Malaysia (SGM) as a member after graduating from Secondary School in year 1989. It was due to family dire straits that a friend encouraged me to practice Nichiren Buddhism and chant Nam-myoho-renge-gyo to change my family situation. After completing my secondary school education, I had wanted to continue studying. However, my family financial situation did not allow it. I decided to work so that I could earn and save enough money to pay for my own tertiary school fee. I gave tuitions and worked as a part-time waitress at a teahouse, taking up 3 jobs a day. My efforts paid off, as the following year, I was able to leave my hometown to pursue my tertiary education in Kuala Lumpur. I continued working part-time in KL while juggling my school work to support myself and pay for the school fees. Even though life was hectic, I continued to participate actively in Gakkai activities as a Young Women Division (YWD) member. I enjoyed attending meetings and learned a lot through Sensei’s guidance during my Youth Division days which I believed had helped to lay the solid foundation for my faith.
5 years later in 1994, I got married and it was during this major transition of my life that put a real test to my faith. I was staying with my parents-in-law after I got married. My father-in-law was terminally ill and needed a care giver to attend to all his basic needs. Though heavily pregnant with twins at that time, I was the sole caregiver for him and had to tend to his every need. From cleaning up for him, feeding him and ensuring he took his daily medications.
It was challenging but I took it upon myself to fulfill the basic filial piety until my father-in-law passed away peacefully.However, the worst was yet to be over.
After my father in-law’s passing, my mother-in-law could not overcome her emotional imbalance. She started becoming temperamental and made things difficult for me. During the eve of Chinese New Year after my father in-law’s passing, I could still remember vividly how I had to do the traditional New Year spring cleaning all by myself despite being already in the third trimester of pregnancy. I did everything from dusting to cleaning. I even had to climb up and down to shift heavy furniture for cleaning in making sure every part of the house was spick and span.
After all the household chores were completed, I had to rush to the market for groceries shopping to prepare the reunion dinner for 30 family members. My fatigued body finally could not take the toil and I collapsed in the crowded market. Fortunately, there were passers-by around to help me and I was able to return home safely.
Faced with the strained relationship with my mother in-law, I had thought of escaping from the problem by leaving everything behind. Each time I harbored this thought, I would think of my eldest daughter and pregnant twins. I felt the pressing needs to address and rebuild this family tie and to turn poison into medicine.
At that time, I only had the Gohonzon in my room to rely on. The only thing I was in gratitude to my mother-in-law then was that she did not object to my practice. Every night while chanting to the Gohonzon, my tears flowed. However, I firmly believed that only through the power of chanting, my mother in-law would one day become my Buddhist God to help me advance in the path of kosen rufu and would also appreciate me as the best daughter-in-law.
After giving birth to my twin daughters, things did not immediately take a better turn. In fact, it became worse. During my confinement period, my mother in-law continued to make things difficult for me. She chased away my confinement lady and I was left to fend for myself. The final blow came when my mother-in-law chased me and my 3 children out of the house in the middle of the night because she could not stand the crying of the children. I was defenseless and homeless with three young children and my eldest daughter was only a one and a half year old. At my wits’ end, the three of us could only stay at a hotel for the night which is also my husband’s workplace.
I could not understand why my life had unfolded in this way. I have always taken pride that I have never had to deal with any interpersonal issues and can always get along well with everyone. That night, suicidal thoughts crept into my mind. I had planned to drown my three daughters in the hotel bathtub and jumped down the building to end this suffering. When I was feeling the bathtub with water, a sudden thought came to me. “How could I do this? Who would then prove the greatness of this law?” This brought me back to overcome those suicidal thoughts. Fortunately at the same time, my husband had also discovered and realized that I might be falling into depression. He sent our daughters and myself back to my parents’ house the next day. My mother did not questioned further and gave her room up for my daughters and myself. She slept with the living room with my father. During the time my parents’ house, other than taking care of my daughters, I spent most of my time chanting abundant daimoku. The support and concern showered by my parents and siblings at that time was also a major factor to my speedy recovery.
After we separated from my mother-in-law for some time, she contacted us one day out of the blue to tell us that she was not feeling well. We moved back without hesitation to care of her. Because of that, she was able to recover fully and was soon in the pink of health. However one day, out of no valid reason, my mother-in-law chased us out of the house again! It was utterly unreasonable. This time, I was not wavered due to what I have learned through attending the Kaneko group’s meeting. I understood that in Buddhism, everything happens for a reason. And I was convinced that and only by facing the problem heads on, would I be able to challenge and overcome my karma with my mother-in-law.
After some discussions with my husband, we made the decision to buy a house near my mother-in-law so that whenever she needed us, we could be there readily for her.
When my elder daughter was 7 and the twins 5 years old, my husband faced some serious debt issues due to the poor management of his restaurant which ultimately led to him having to wind up his business. To promptly settle his huge debt, he chose to travel to Brunei to work, leaving me and our daughters behind. I had to scrimp and save to support our family as majority of the money that he sent back monthly went to repaying the debts.
Even though, life was tough, I firmly believed that “Winter will definitely turn to spring” as quoted the Gosho. In order to supplement income to the family, I took on multiple jobs including the job of a nanny, sold ginger and even became the Kindergarten teacher at where my daughters were studying. I woke up as early as 4.30a.m everyday without fail so that I could chant more daimoku. I prayed fervently to the Gohonzon for my Buddha wisdom to well forth to overcome my daily challenges. During this challenging period, my Soka Gakkai Malaysia (SGM) leaders would always be around to care for me. They would rush down all the way down to my house whenever I needed help during the time my husband was not around with us.
In year 2003, I volunteered to help out as an exhibition guide during the SGI President Daisaku Ikeda’s photography exhibition titled, “Dialogue with Nature”. It was held by SGM at the National Art Gallery. It was at this time my mother in-law became my Buddhist God. She volunteered to take care of my daughters during the period when I was busy doing duty for the exhibition. She also became closer to her granddaughters and showered them with their favorite food and sometimes even bought clothes for them. Before she passed away, she finally acknowledged me as her own daughter and she even openly announced that in front of all the close relatives and friends. I had finally welcomed the spring into my life and fulfilled my prayer of becoming the best daughter-in-law for my mother in-law.
Deep in my heart, I was filled with deep gratitude for her. Without my mother in-law, I would not have done my human revolution, to challenge my fundamental darkness and to overcome my egoistic nature. SGI President Daisaku Ikeda guidance taught, “There is no destiny which human revolution cannot change.”
It took 7 long years for my husband to finally clear off his debts. After clearing his debs, my husband chose to work in Sabah, Malaysia. We decided to all relocate to Sabah for the family to reunite. That was in 2008 and we were finally able to start afresh with a new life together as a family in Sabah. However, it was not all smooth-sailing as I continued to face new challenges in life. My eldest daughter could not adapt to the new environment in Sabah and she felt lonely with no friends. I was perplexed as to why shehad such a reaction as I thought I had made the decision based on my prayer to the Gohonzon. I sought guidance from my senior in faith and was convinced that “Poison can be turned into Medicine”. I decided to travel back to my hometown with my three daughters.
I am currently still challenging. I am holding on to the firm belief that I will definitely show great actual proof one day to fulfill my prayers to have a family reunion and to have a harmonious family.
[Cosmic, SGM, February 2014]
Translation Disclaimer: The original testimonial is in the Chinese Language. It has been translated to the English Language for our readers’ convenience. Reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate translation, however the editorial team acknowledged that the translation may not be perfect to the author’s original and seeks our readers understanding. Please note that all guidance and quotes are loosely translated.
(编辑注释: 以上是中英翻译，原版如下.)
一切从祈求开始
陈婉玲
雪兰莪，马来西亚
女子部时期
1989年中学毕业后，因为家境贫困，在朋友的鼓励下我入信了日莲佛法。为了筹集升学的费用，中学毕业后的第一年，我一天做三份工。早晚教补习、下午到茶艺馆工作。第二年，我只身从新山来到吉隆坡半工读。虽然生活清苦，可是因为有学会活动，我的生活是充实的。在青年部的学习，让我奠下了信心的基础。
婆媳关系
1994年，我结婚了，步入人生的第二阶段，一切的考验才开始。
和公婆同住，最困难的就是婆媳关系。首先，我必须照顾病重的公公。病重的公公无法自理， 从洗澡、进食、吃药都必须由我照顾。最大的挑战是我正怀着第二胎，而且还是双胞胎。纵然辛苦，但我明白照顾长辈是后辈的责任，而且我也知道当时除了我以外，没有其他人更适合照顾公公了。
我无微不至地照顾公公，直到他去世。然而可怕的事正等待着我。
一向以来疼爱婆婆无比的公公去世后，婆婆无法平衡内心的情绪，处处为难我。新年前夕，我也进入了第三孕期。一切孕妇的禁忌，我都无法顾虑。家里的大扫除、年夜饭的准备等都由我来包办。大扫除时，我爬高爬低，抹窗扫地，搬床搬柜，把家里打扫得一尘不染。为了准备九样菜色、30人份的年夜饭，我提着菜篮到巴刹包办一切的采购。怎知在巴刹晕倒!在旁人的协助下，醒了之后再提重重的菜篮回家。
面对婆婆的勺难，我曾埋怨，想要逃避。可是看着长女、摸摸肚里的两个女儿，心想如果就此一走了之，也许现在轻松，可是这一段难搞的婆媳关系就永远无法解决，家族的宿命枷锁永远也无法打破。
身心上唯一的依靠，就是安奉在房里的御本尊。唯一让我感谢婆婆的就是她没有反对我信仰。每天夜里，面对御本尊，往往是流着泪。但我心中确信总有一天，婆婆一定会成为我广布的诸天、也一定会认为我是世上最好的媳妇。
生下双胞胎后，婆婆多次刁难，连陪月婆也被请走了。满月后不久，婆婆也因为无法忍受三个孩子的啼哭声，竟然把我们一家赶出家门。当时大女儿才一岁半。当晚我们无家可归，只好入住外子工作的酒店。
一向以来人缘极佳的我，怎么会有如此难堪的婆媳关系呢? 入住酒店当晚，万念俱灰的我决定用浴缸的水浸死三个孩子，而后自己从酒店的窗口跃下轻生。就在我跪下想盛满浴缸的水时，心中的一念突转“我怎能这样呢? 那由谁来证明妙法的伟大呢？”" 而回过神来。此时外子才惊觉“忧郁症”已悄悄地找上我。第二天，他匆匆地把我们母女四人送回娘家。
母亲二话不说，就把自己的房间让出来，自己和爸爸则睡在客厅。让原本已经很狭小的家显得更小。在娘家的那一段日子，我除了照顾女儿外，就是拼命地唱题。双亲和弟妹们的关怀，让我很快地康复。
在娘家住了一段日子，某天婆婆来电说她生病了。我二话不说就和丈夫搬回家照顾她。在我细心地照顾下，婆婆很快康复了。可是我们一家又在毫无理由的情况下，再次被赶出家门。真是不可理喻啊! 但透过香峰会的学习，我明白到在信心路途中发生的事一定有其意义存在。更且，我一定要斩断婆媳关系不和的宿业。
于是，我和外子决定在婆婆家附近买房子，以方便回应她的需求。在往后的几年里，婆婆需要帮忙时，我都会全力支援。
先生事业失败
在大女儿七岁、两个小女儿五岁时，外子的餐馆生意经营不佳，欠下了银行约十余万令吉的债款，所以不得不结束营业。为了更快还清债款，外子只好只身到汶莱工作。由于还债，他寄回来的家用，也常入不敷出。
虽然生活担子沉重，但我咬紧牙关，确信御书教导“冬必为春”。为增加收入，我开始在家当保姆、卖姜蓉、最后辗转到女儿就读的幼儿园任教。每天早晨四点半我就起床唱题，祈求能充满智慧地面对一天的生活。这段时期，学会干部无微不至地关怀我。外子不在身旁，只要我有急事，无论是白天或三更半夜，他们都会赶来帮忙。
人间革命改变一切
2003年SGM在国家画廊举办池田SGI会长的“与自然对话”摄影展，我毅然加入导览工作。这时婆婆成为了我广布的诸天，值勤时无法带孩子同行，她竟然主动帮我照顾孩子。有时也为女儿们添购许多她们爱吃的东西，或者美丽的衣服。至到婆婆去世为止的前几年，我与婆婆有了和谐的关系。她临终时，也向身边的亲朋戚友表示，我是她的女儿。
在我心中只有感恩。如果不是婆婆，我不会实践人间革命，改变任性，自大的性格。池田先生曾教导：“没有人间革命无法改变的宿命。”
外子欠下的债款， 最终在七年后还清。债款还清的当儿，丈夫选择到沙巴工作。我们于是决定举家搬到沙巴团聚。2008年底，我们一家在沙巴开始了新生活，可是不久大女儿无法适应没有朋友以及沙巴悠闲的生活，而开始焦虑不安。此时，我进退两难，因为我自认是唱了许多题目才做出的决定，大女儿怎会不能适应呢? 面对御本尊唱题时，我懊恼不已。和前辈恳谈后，我确信一切一定会变毒为药。最后，我选择了带着三个孩子回到加影。
内心懊恼不已的同时，我确信只要以信心为根本，总有一天我们一家一定能如愿达到“一家团聚与一家和乐”。
[宇宙月刊，2014年2月号]
Chen Wan Ling
Selangor, Malaysia
I joined Soka Gakkai Malaysia (SGM) as a member after graduating from Secondary School in year 1989. It was due to family dire straits that a friend encouraged me to practice Nichiren Buddhism and chant Nam-myoho-renge-gyo to change my family situation. After completing my secondary school education, I had wanted to continue studying. However, my family financial situation did not allow it. I decided to work so that I could earn and save enough money to pay for my own tertiary school fee. I gave tuitions and worked as a part-time waitress at a teahouse, taking up 3 jobs a day. My efforts paid off, as the following year, I was able to leave my hometown to pursue my tertiary education in Kuala Lumpur. I continued working part-time in KL while juggling my school work to support myself and pay for the school fees. Even though life was hectic, I continued to participate actively in Gakkai activities as a Young Women Division (YWD) member. I enjoyed attending meetings and learned a lot through Sensei’s guidance during my Youth Division days which I believed had helped to lay the solid foundation for my faith.
5 years later in 1994, I got married and it was during this major transition of my life that put a real test to my faith. I was staying with my parents-in-law after I got married. My father-in-law was terminally ill and needed a care giver to attend to all his basic needs. Though heavily pregnant with twins at that time, I was the sole caregiver for him and had to tend to his every need. From cleaning up for him, feeding him and ensuring he took his daily medications.
It was challenging but I took it upon myself to fulfill the basic filial piety until my father-in-law passed away peacefully.However, the worst was yet to be over.
After my father in-law’s passing, my mother-in-law could not overcome her emotional imbalance. She started becoming temperamental and made things difficult for me. During the eve of Chinese New Year after my father in-law’s passing, I could still remember vividly how I had to do the traditional New Year spring cleaning all by myself despite being already in the third trimester of pregnancy. I did everything from dusting to cleaning. I even had to climb up and down to shift heavy furniture for cleaning in making sure every part of the house was spick and span.
After all the household chores were completed, I had to rush to the market for groceries shopping to prepare the reunion dinner for 30 family members. My fatigued body finally could not take the toil and I collapsed in the crowded market. Fortunately, there were passers-by around to help me and I was able to return home safely.
Faced with the strained relationship with my mother in-law, I had thought of escaping from the problem by leaving everything behind. Each time I harbored this thought, I would think of my eldest daughter and pregnant twins. I felt the pressing needs to address and rebuild this family tie and to turn poison into medicine.
At that time, I only had the Gohonzon in my room to rely on. The only thing I was in gratitude to my mother-in-law then was that she did not object to my practice. Every night while chanting to the Gohonzon, my tears flowed. However, I firmly believed that only through the power of chanting, my mother in-law would one day become my Buddhist God to help me advance in the path of kosen rufu and would also appreciate me as the best daughter-in-law.
After giving birth to my twin daughters, things did not immediately take a better turn. In fact, it became worse. During my confinement period, my mother in-law continued to make things difficult for me. She chased away my confinement lady and I was left to fend for myself. The final blow came when my mother-in-law chased me and my 3 children out of the house in the middle of the night because she could not stand the crying of the children. I was defenseless and homeless with three young children and my eldest daughter was only a one and a half year old. At my wits’ end, the three of us could only stay at a hotel for the night which is also my husband’s workplace.
I could not understand why my life had unfolded in this way. I have always taken pride that I have never had to deal with any interpersonal issues and can always get along well with everyone. That night, suicidal thoughts crept into my mind. I had planned to drown my three daughters in the hotel bathtub and jumped down the building to end this suffering. When I was feeling the bathtub with water, a sudden thought came to me. “How could I do this? Who would then prove the greatness of this law?” This brought me back to overcome those suicidal thoughts. Fortunately at the same time, my husband had also discovered and realized that I might be falling into depression. He sent our daughters and myself back to my parents’ house the next day. My mother did not questioned further and gave her room up for my daughters and myself. She slept with the living room with my father. During the time my parents’ house, other than taking care of my daughters, I spent most of my time chanting abundant daimoku. The support and concern showered by my parents and siblings at that time was also a major factor to my speedy recovery.
After we separated from my mother-in-law for some time, she contacted us one day out of the blue to tell us that she was not feeling well. We moved back without hesitation to care of her. Because of that, she was able to recover fully and was soon in the pink of health. However one day, out of no valid reason, my mother-in-law chased us out of the house again! It was utterly unreasonable. This time, I was not wavered due to what I have learned through attending the Kaneko group’s meeting. I understood that in Buddhism, everything happens for a reason. And I was convinced that and only by facing the problem heads on, would I be able to challenge and overcome my karma with my mother-in-law.
After some discussions with my husband, we made the decision to buy a house near my mother-in-law so that whenever she needed us, we could be there readily for her.
When my elder daughter was 7 and the twins 5 years old, my husband faced some serious debt issues due to the poor management of his restaurant which ultimately led to him having to wind up his business. To promptly settle his huge debt, he chose to travel to Brunei to work, leaving me and our daughters behind. I had to scrimp and save to support our family as majority of the money that he sent back monthly went to repaying the debts.
Even though, life was tough, I firmly believed that “Winter will definitely turn to spring” as quoted the Gosho. In order to supplement income to the family, I took on multiple jobs including the job of a nanny, sold ginger and even became the Kindergarten teacher at where my daughters were studying. I woke up as early as 4.30a.m everyday without fail so that I could chant more daimoku. I prayed fervently to the Gohonzon for my Buddha wisdom to well forth to overcome my daily challenges. During this challenging period, my Soka Gakkai Malaysia (SGM) leaders would always be around to care for me. They would rush down all the way down to my house whenever I needed help during the time my husband was not around with us.
In year 2003, I volunteered to help out as an exhibition guide during the SGI President Daisaku Ikeda’s photography exhibition titled, “Dialogue with Nature”. It was held by SGM at the National Art Gallery. It was at this time my mother in-law became my Buddhist God. She volunteered to take care of my daughters during the period when I was busy doing duty for the exhibition. She also became closer to her granddaughters and showered them with their favorite food and sometimes even bought clothes for them. Before she passed away, she finally acknowledged me as her own daughter and she even openly announced that in front of all the close relatives and friends. I had finally welcomed the spring into my life and fulfilled my prayer of becoming the best daughter-in-law for my mother in-law.
Deep in my heart, I was filled with deep gratitude for her. Without my mother in-law, I would not have done my human revolution, to challenge my fundamental darkness and to overcome my egoistic nature. SGI President Daisaku Ikeda guidance taught, “There is no destiny which human revolution cannot change.”
It took 7 long years for my husband to finally clear off his debts. After clearing his debs, my husband chose to work in Sabah, Malaysia. We decided to all relocate to Sabah for the family to reunite. That was in 2008 and we were finally able to start afresh with a new life together as a family in Sabah. However, it was not all smooth-sailing as I continued to face new challenges in life. My eldest daughter could not adapt to the new environment in Sabah and she felt lonely with no friends. I was perplexed as to why shehad such a reaction as I thought I had made the decision based on my prayer to the Gohonzon. I sought guidance from my senior in faith and was convinced that “Poison can be turned into Medicine”. I decided to travel back to my hometown with my three daughters.
I am currently still challenging. I am holding on to the firm belief that I will definitely show great actual proof one day to fulfill my prayers to have a family reunion and to have a harmonious family.
[Cosmic, SGM, February 2014]
Translation Disclaimer: The original testimonial is in the Chinese Language. It has been translated to the English Language for our readers’ convenience. Reasonable efforts have been made to provide an accurate translation, however the editorial team acknowledged that the translation may not be perfect to the author’s original and seeks our readers understanding. Please note that all guidance and quotes are loosely translated.
(编辑注释: 以上是中英翻译，原版如下.)
一切从祈求开始
陈婉玲
雪兰莪，马来西亚
女子部时期
1989年中学毕业后，因为家境贫困，在朋友的鼓励下我入信了日莲佛法。为了筹集升学的费用，中学毕业后的第一年，我一天做三份工。早晚教补习、下午到茶艺馆工作。第二年，我只身从新山来到吉隆坡半工读。虽然生活清苦，可是因为有学会活动，我的生活是充实的。在青年部的学习，让我奠下了信心的基础。
婆媳关系
1994年，我结婚了，步入人生的第二阶段，一切的考验才开始。
和公婆同住，最困难的就是婆媳关系。首先，我必须照顾病重的公公。病重的公公无法自理， 从洗澡、进食、吃药都必须由我照顾。最大的挑战是我正怀着第二胎，而且还是双胞胎。纵然辛苦，但我明白照顾长辈是后辈的责任，而且我也知道当时除了我以外，没有其他人更适合照顾公公了。
我无微不至地照顾公公，直到他去世。然而可怕的事正等待着我。
一向以来疼爱婆婆无比的公公去世后，婆婆无法平衡内心的情绪，处处为难我。新年前夕，我也进入了第三孕期。一切孕妇的禁忌，我都无法顾虑。家里的大扫除、年夜饭的准备等都由我来包办。大扫除时，我爬高爬低，抹窗扫地，搬床搬柜，把家里打扫得一尘不染。为了准备九样菜色、30人份的年夜饭，我提着菜篮到巴刹包办一切的采购。怎知在巴刹晕倒!在旁人的协助下，醒了之后再提重重的菜篮回家。
面对婆婆的勺难，我曾埋怨，想要逃避。可是看着长女、摸摸肚里的两个女儿，心想如果就此一走了之，也许现在轻松，可是这一段难搞的婆媳关系就永远无法解决，家族的宿命枷锁永远也无法打破。
身心上唯一的依靠，就是安奉在房里的御本尊。唯一让我感谢婆婆的就是她没有反对我信仰。每天夜里，面对御本尊，往往是流着泪。但我心中确信总有一天，婆婆一定会成为我广布的诸天、也一定会认为我是世上最好的媳妇。
生下双胞胎后，婆婆多次刁难，连陪月婆也被请走了。满月后不久，婆婆也因为无法忍受三个孩子的啼哭声，竟然把我们一家赶出家门。当时大女儿才一岁半。当晚我们无家可归，只好入住外子工作的酒店。
一向以来人缘极佳的我，怎么会有如此难堪的婆媳关系呢? 入住酒店当晚，万念俱灰的我决定用浴缸的水浸死三个孩子，而后自己从酒店的窗口跃下轻生。就在我跪下想盛满浴缸的水时，心中的一念突转“我怎能这样呢? 那由谁来证明妙法的伟大呢？”" 而回过神来。此时外子才惊觉“忧郁症”已悄悄地找上我。第二天，他匆匆地把我们母女四人送回娘家。
母亲二话不说，就把自己的房间让出来，自己和爸爸则睡在客厅。让原本已经很狭小的家显得更小。在娘家的那一段日子，我除了照顾女儿外，就是拼命地唱题。双亲和弟妹们的关怀，让我很快地康复。
在娘家住了一段日子，某天婆婆来电说她生病了。我二话不说就和丈夫搬回家照顾她。在我细心地照顾下，婆婆很快康复了。可是我们一家又在毫无理由的情况下，再次被赶出家门。真是不可理喻啊! 但透过香峰会的学习，我明白到在信心路途中发生的事一定有其意义存在。更且，我一定要斩断婆媳关系不和的宿业。
于是，我和外子决定在婆婆家附近买房子，以方便回应她的需求。在往后的几年里，婆婆需要帮忙时，我都会全力支援。
先生事业失败
在大女儿七岁、两个小女儿五岁时，外子的餐馆生意经营不佳，欠下了银行约十余万令吉的债款，所以不得不结束营业。为了更快还清债款，外子只好只身到汶莱工作。由于还债，他寄回来的家用，也常入不敷出。
虽然生活担子沉重，但我咬紧牙关，确信御书教导“冬必为春”。为增加收入，我开始在家当保姆、卖姜蓉、最后辗转到女儿就读的幼儿园任教。每天早晨四点半我就起床唱题，祈求能充满智慧地面对一天的生活。这段时期，学会干部无微不至地关怀我。外子不在身旁，只要我有急事，无论是白天或三更半夜，他们都会赶来帮忙。
人间革命改变一切
2003年SGM在国家画廊举办池田SGI会长的“与自然对话”摄影展，我毅然加入导览工作。这时婆婆成为了我广布的诸天，值勤时无法带孩子同行，她竟然主动帮我照顾孩子。有时也为女儿们添购许多她们爱吃的东西，或者美丽的衣服。至到婆婆去世为止的前几年，我与婆婆有了和谐的关系。她临终时，也向身边的亲朋戚友表示，我是她的女儿。
在我心中只有感恩。如果不是婆婆，我不会实践人间革命，改变任性，自大的性格。池田先生曾教导：“没有人间革命无法改变的宿命。”
外子欠下的债款， 最终在七年后还清。债款还清的当儿，丈夫选择到沙巴工作。我们于是决定举家搬到沙巴团聚。2008年底，我们一家在沙巴开始了新生活，可是不久大女儿无法适应没有朋友以及沙巴悠闲的生活，而开始焦虑不安。此时，我进退两难，因为我自认是唱了许多题目才做出的决定，大女儿怎会不能适应呢? 面对御本尊唱题时，我懊恼不已。和前辈恳谈后，我确信一切一定会变毒为药。最后，我选择了带着三个孩子回到加影。
内心懊恼不已的同时，我确信只要以信心为根本，总有一天我们一家一定能如愿达到“一家团聚与一家和乐”。
[宇宙月刊，2014年2月号]